You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 3

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 3

(Zappa, 2CD, Rykodisc RCD 10085/86, November 13, 1989)

disc 1

  1. Sharleena 8:53
  2. Bamboozled By Love/Owner Of A Lonely Heart (FZ/Rabin/Horn/Anderson/Squire) 6:06
  3. Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up 2:52
  4. Advance Romance (1984) 6:58
  5. Bobby Brown Goes Down 2:44
  6. Keep It Greasey 3:30
  7. Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me? 4:16
  8. In France 3:01
  9. Drowning Witch 9:22
  10. Ride My Face To Chicago 4:22
  11. Carol, You Fool 4:06
  12. Chana In De Bushwop (FZ/Diva Zappa) 4:52
  13. Joe's Garage 2:20
  14. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? 3:06

disc 2

  1. Dickie's Such An Asshole 10:08
  2. Hands With A Hammer (Bozzio) 3:18
  3. Zoot Allures 6:09
  4. Society Pages 2:32
  5. I'm A Beautiful Guy 1:54
  6. Beauty Knows No Pain 2:55
  7. Charlie's Enormous Mouth 3:39
  8. Cocaine Decisions 3:14
  9. Nig Biz 4:58
  10. King Kong 24:32
  11. Cosmik Debris 5:13

Arranged, produced, compiled and edited by Frank Zappa

Recording engineers: Mark Pinske, Kerry McNab, Bob Stone
Remix engineers: Bob Stone
Remix facility: UMRK

Package design by Art Hotel, inc.

 

disc 1

1. Sharleena 8:53

Universal Amphitheater, Universal City, CA
December 23, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Dweezil Zappa—lead guitar
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

FZ: Okay, ladies and gentlemen: my son Dweezil!
Ike: The Dweeze!
FZ: Dweezil is going to play the guitar solo on a song from the Them Or Us album, called "Sharleena."
Ike: Huh!

Oooh oooh oooh
Battlestar: Galactica?
Oooh oooh oooh

Everybody!

I'm cryin'
I'm cryin'
Cryin' for Sharleena,
Can't you see

I called up all my baby's friends
'N ask'n um
Where she done went.
("Jungle Boogie"?)
But nobody 'round here seems to know
Where my Sharleena's been
Where my Sharleena's been

Ten long years I've been lovin' her
Ten long years
And I thought deep down in my heart
She was mine
Ten long years I've been lovin' her
Ten long years
I would call her my baby, and now,
I'm always cryin'

I would be so delighted
(The Dweeze!)
(I would be)
I would be so delighted
(Yes, I would be)
If they would just
Send her on home to me

I would be so delighted
(I . . . )
I would be so delighted
(Yes, I would be)
If they would just
Send her on home to me
Send my baby home to me
Send my baby home to me
Send my baby home to me
Send my baby home to
Me-ee-ee-ee

2. Bamboozled By Love / Owner Of A Lonely Heart 6:06

(FZ / T. Rabin, T. Horn, J. Anderson, C. Squire)

includes a quotation from Owner Of A Lonely Heart (Rabin/Horn/Anderson/Squire)

Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

FZ: Thank you!

Bamboozled by love,
Oh lord, the shit done hit the fan
Bamboozled by love
Oh lord, the shit done hit the fan
The way that girl been carryin' on
I swear I just don't understand
Don't you know I treat her nice and kind
The way no other lover can
Don't you know I treat her nice and kind
The way no other lover can
You know I came home the other day and she was
Suckin' off some other man

(Isn't that amazing?)

I ain't the type for beggin'
I am not the type to plead
If she don't change those evil ways
I'm gonna make her bleed
She can scream and she can holler
Bang her head all along the wall
If she don't give me what I want
She ain't gonna have no head at all

Bamboozled by love
I know she fooled around too long
Bamboozled by love
I know she fooled around too long
I am mad and gettin' meaner
I am here and she is gone
And the reason you have not seen her
She is underneath the lawn
I know she's underneath the lawn, lawn, lawn

I ain't the type for beggin'
I am not the type to plead
If she don't change those evil ways
I'm gonna make her bleed
She can scream and she can holler
Bang her head all along the wall
If she don't give me what I want
Ain't gonna have no head at all

Bamboozled by love
I know she fooled around too long
Bamboozled by love
I know she fooled around too long
I am mad and gettin' meaner, meaner
I am here and she is gone
And the reason you have not seen her
She is underneath the lawn

And the reason you have not seen her
She is underneath the lawn
The lawn . . .

3. Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up 2:52

Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

Lucille
Has messed my mind up
But I still love her, yeah
You know love her

Lucille
She messed my mind up, yeah
But I still love her, yeah
Oh you know I love her

Whatcha tryna doota me
Lucille?
Whatcha tryna doota me
Lucille?
I'm sayin'
Whatcha tryna doota me
Lucille?
You got me goin' outa my mind

Lucille
She tore my heart up
But I still need her
You know I need her, yeah

And Lucille
Tore my heart up
But I still need, I need her
You know I need her

I'm sayin'
She treats me like my heart
Is made of stone
She run around
And leave me home
All alone

I'm tellin' you
She doesn't answer
When I call her on the phone
She messed up my mind
I'm cryin' alla the time

Lucille
Oh oui . . . my mind up
(My mind up)
I said I love her
(Love her)
I mean it
(Love her)
You know I love her
(I love . . . )

Lucille
My heart up
(My heart up)
Ooh, I love her
(Love her)
(Love her)
You know love her
(I love . . . )

Lucille
(Oh)
Lucille, ci-i-i-i-ille

4. Advance Romance 6:58

includes quotations from the Calabrian Tarantella (trad.) and I'll Tumble 4 Ya (Hay/Moss/Craig/O'Dowd)

Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984
and
Queen Elizabeth Theatre, Vancouver
December 18, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

No more credit
From the liquor store
My suit is all dirty, boy
My shoes is all wore
I'm tired and lonely, my
FBI heart is all sore
Advance romance
I can't stand it no more, no more

She told me she loved me
I believed what she said
She took me for a sucker, boy
All corn-fed
The next thing I knew
She had a bolt on the door
Advance romance
(Oh yeah)
I can't use it no more, no more

She took Ike's watch
Like they always do
(It was a Timex, too!)
(AH-HOO WAH-HOO)
(And-a shame on you, yeah)
No more money, boy
I shoulda knew
(DUNT-DE-DUNT DUNT-DE-DAH
DUNT-DE-DUNT-DUNT
DAH-DE-DE-DAH)

(Won't somebody go sit on ah . . . )
(Yes! He's showin' the magic!)
(DUNT-DE-DUNT . . .
HI-YO, SILVER!)
(The tinsel's here)

(The big drawers . . . )
The way she do me, boy
(Oh . . . oh, yeah)
She might do you, too
(Awfully big drawers now!)
The way she do me, boy
She might do you, too
(She's from Utah!)
(I'LL TUMBLE 4 YA . . . )

(Oh no . . . )
The way she do me, boy
She might do you, too
(You remember Utah
You know what happened . . . )

Drawers!

Advance romance
People I am through
I'm through!
Potato-head Bobby
Was a friend of mine
He opened three of his eyes
In the food stamp line
He opened four of his eyes
In the food stamp line
He opened five of his eyes
In the food stamp line
He opened six of his eyes
In the food stamp line
He said she might be a devil
(Well, I don't know . . . )
But she sure was fine
Advance romance
(Oh yeah . . . )
He wanna try it one time
Just one time

Later that night
He drop on by
He told her all he wanna do
Is come up and say "Hi"
(HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI)
Half an hour later
She had frenched his fry
(EVERYBODY!)
(YODELOO YODELOO YODELOO YODEL)
Frenched his fry
(ISN'T THAT AMAZING?)
(What?)
Advance romance
Bobby, say good-bye-yay-yay-yay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ahh

5. Bobby Brown Goes Down 2:44

includes quotations from Gonna Fly Now (Conti/Connors/Robbins)

Paramount Theatre, Seattle, Washington
December 17, 1984 (late show)

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

(Ooh . . . )
A real hologram!
(We sure do!)
I mean: not real, but almost a real hologram

Hey there, people, I'm Bobby Brown
They say I'm the cutest boy in town
My car is fast, my teeth is shiney
Tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie
(Tiny heinie ho!)
Here I am at a famous school
(Gonna fly now)
I'm dressin' sharp
I'm actin' cool
I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper
Let her do all the work 'n maybe later I'll rape her

Oh God I am the American dream
I do not think I'm too extreme
An' I'm a handsome sonofabitch
Gonna get a NEW GLOVE 'n be real rich
(Get a good, get a good, get a good, get a good . . . )

Women's Liberation
Came creepin' across the nation
I tell you people, I was not ready
When I fucked this dyke by the name of Freddie
She made a little speech then,
Aw, she tried to make me say when
She had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick
I guess it's still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick

Oh God I am the American dream
But now I smell like Vaseline
An' I'm a miserable sonofabitch
Am I a boy or a lady . . . I don't know which
(I wonder wonder, Hi-Yo, Silver!)

So I went out 'n bought me a leisure mask
I jingle my change, but I'm still kinda cute
Got a job doin' radio promo
(Gonna fly now)
An' none of the jocks can even think about Tonto
Eventually me 'n a friend
Sorta of drifted along into S&M
(YA!)
I can take about an hour on the tower of power
'Long as I gets a little golden shower

Oh God I am the American dream
With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream
An' I'll do anything to get ahead
Hi-Yo, Silver!
Oh God, Oh God, I'm so fan . . . Hi-Yo, Silver!
And my name is Bobby Brown
And my name is Bobby Brown
Hi-Yo, Silver! Away!
And my name is Bobby Brown
Hi-Yo, Silver!

FZ: Ha-ha . . . Oh, never mind . . . The name of this song is: "Keep It Greasey"
Ike: Hi-Yo!

6. Keep It Greasey 3:30

includes quotations from the William Tell Overture (Rossini) and Midnight Sun (Hampton/Burke/Mercer)

The Pier, NYC
August 26, 1984
and
Paramount Theatre, Seattle, Washington
December 17, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

Hi-Yo, Silver! Away!

Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy (Hi-Yo!)
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy

Roll it over 'n grease it down
I'll drive you through the heart of town

Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy

Roll it over 'n grease it down (Hi-Yo, Silver!)
I'll drive you through the heart of town

Hey, the good women, they sure has it tough
The good men, well there just ain't enough
All the good girls are lookin' all the time
Good SILVER is something that they can't find
'Cause if they find one miraculously
They try to be lovin' as they can be
'Cause if they find one and let him go
Chances are they might not never find one no mo'
So they . . .

Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy (Away!)
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy

Roll it over 'n grease it down (Hi-Yo!)
I'll drive you through the heart of town

A good lovin' man is hardest to find
A good woman needs to ease her mind
I know a few that need to ease it behind
All y'gotta do is grease it down
'N everything is fine

Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy

Roll it over 'n grease it down
I'll drive you through the heart of town

A girl don't need
No fancy grease
To get herself
Some rump release
Any kind
Of lube'll do
Maybe from another
Part of you
Lube from the North
Lube from the South
Take a little slobber (Hi-Yo, Silver!)
From the side of your mouth
From your mouth
From your mouth
From your mouth
From your mouth

Grease it down
Here come that crazy
Screamin' sound . . .

Hi-Yo, Silver! Ah-ah-ah!
Thank you, Masked Man!
Hi-Yo, Silver! Ah-ah-ah!
Hi . . . Hi-Yo, Silver!
(Oh, God . . . Okay, everybody!)
Hi-Yo, Silver!

Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Roll it over 'n grease it down, down, down
Grease it down . . .
Oh no no no! Here comes that screamin' sound again . . .

7. Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me? 4:16

includes a quotation from The Twilight Zone (Constant)

The Pier, NYC
August 25-26, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me

He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe)
His fav'rite phrase was "OUTA-SITE!"
He had an Irish Setter
(Hrtch-a-pltch
Hrtch-a-pltch
Hrtch-a-pltch
Arf!)

It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night
The moon was dim, the band was tight
They did the Bump together

What a splendid sight
(Run nun nun naa)
Her teeth were white
(Run nun nun nun nun naa)
The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite)
He was glad that he met her

She was an office girl (her name was Betty)
Her fav'rite group was . . .

Audience: HELEN REDDY!

No! TWISTED SISTER!

FZ: OK, wait wait wait, let's do it right. OK, now that you know what you're supposed to say there, let's hear it.

She was an office girl (her name was Betty)
Her fav'rite group was . . . TWISTED SISTER
(They discussed the weather)

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Man!

She was a lonely sort, just a little too short
Her jokes were dumb and her fav'rite sport
Was hockey (in the winter)
(Mumble-mumble . . . He scores!)

He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
Any sport with a PUCK had to be 'bout the best
As he jabbed his elbow in her (get it honey?
Get it honey? Sister Honey?)

Later on they went off to where the music was soft,
The candles were drippy, they saw a REAL HIPPY
Who delivered their dinner

The rice was brown, and soon they found
That the crowd around that had jammed the room,
Well it seemed to be getting thinner
(Break dancing!)

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Man!

He took her home to a motor court
She wouldn't kiss him, he tried to ignore it,
But it made him angry!
(Oh boy! What a cone!
And I don't believe that he can bust . . . )

(What? . . . )

He called her a pig
(Pig pig pig . . . )
A slut
(Slut slut slut . . . )
And a whore
(Whore whore whore . . . )
A bitch
(Bitch bitch bitch . . . )
And a Republican
(Republican!)
And she slammed
(She slammed)
The door
In a petulant frenzy!
(A petulant frenzy!
This is a petulant
Frenzy!
I'm petulant,
And I'm having a frenzy!)

On the sofa she weeps
BOO HOO HOO HOO
She weeps and she weeps
BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO
She weeps and she peeps
Through the curtain

He just got in his car
But the battery's dead
So he asked to use the phone
And she gives him some head
And that's the end of the story

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Man!
Baby don't you want a man sometimes?

8. In France 3:01

includes a quotation from La Marseillaise (de Lisle)

Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

(Isn't that amazing!)

Playin' in a tent
It's payin' the rent
Pooch a civilian,
It's a major event
Down in France
Way down in France
(Yeah-hey)
Way on down
(Way down)
Way on down
(Way down)
Under France

The girls is all salty
The boys is all sweet
The food ain't too shabby,
An' they piss in the streets
Down in France (yeah, now)
Way down in France
Way on down
(Way down)
Way on down
(Way down)
Down under France

They got diseases
Like you never seen
They got a mystery blow-job
Turn your peter green
Down in France
Way down in France
Way on down
(Way down)
Way on down
(Way down)
Down under France

They got some coffee,
Eatin' right through the cup,
An' when you go ka-ka
They make you stand up
Down in France
(Yeah-hey, now)
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
(Way down)
Down under France

(Listen here!)
If you're not careful,
It'll stick to your cheeks
You'll smell like Godzilla
For a couple of weeks
Down in France
Way down in France
(Isn't that amazing?)
Way on down
(Wash yer gloves!)
(Way down)
Way on down
(Way down)
Down under France
Well, suck that harmonica, son!

We cannot wait
Till we go back
It gets so exciting
When the poodles 'react'
Down in France
(Yeah, down)
Way down in France
(Yeah-hey)
(Oh, whoops!)
Way on down
(Way down)
Way on down
(Way down)
Never try to get yo' peter sucked
In France

Danger, Will Robinson!
Danger!

9. Drowning Witch 9:22

includes quotations from a Hawaiian Punch commercial, Dragnet (Schumann/Rósza) and Le sacre du printemps (Stravinsky)

Stadio Communale, Bolzano, Italy
July 3, 1982
and
Bayfront Center Arena, St. Petersburg, Florida
December 1, 1984
and
Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984
and
Paramount Theatre, Seattle, Washington
December 17, 1984

musicians 1984:
FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—guitar/vocal
Ray White—guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

musicians 1982:
FZ—lead guitar
Ray White—rhythm guitar
Steve Vai—stunt guitar
Tommy Mars—keyboards
Bobby Martin—keyboards
Ed Mann—percussion
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

There's a ship arriving too late
To save a drowning witch
She was swimmin' along
Tryin' to keep a date
With a Merchant Marine
Who told her he was really rich
But it doesn't matter no more . . .
She's on the ocean floor
'N the water's all green down there
'N it's not very clean down there
'N water snakes
'N rusty wrecks
Is all that she can see
As the light goes dim
And she's tryin' to swim
Will she make it?
(Boy, we sure hope so . . . )

Not even a witch oughta be caught
On the bottom of America's spew-infested
HO HO HO, hey-hey . . .
She could get radiation all over her
She could mutate insanely . . . (Aie-ee-aie)
She could mutate insanely . . . (Earth Walk)
Then you know, she could go on the freeway and grow up to be 15 feet tall
And very, very scary-lookin' (Boo-oo-ooh!)
BOO-OOH!
And then . . .
Cars could crash all over the place
As a result of people with Hawaiian shirts on . . .
Lookin' up to her go HO HO HO

Sardines in her eyebrows . . .
Lobsters up 'n down her pudenda
All of them HORRIBLY LARGE FROM GRADUATION . . .
And smelling very bad
And DANGEROUS!

Maybe a submarine could save her,
(That's right!) (Yes, that's true!)
And bring her back just like a MUD SHARK . . .
Tell 'em what they win, Bob!

Well, Bill, for the ladies:
A full week's supply of D'Artagnan's Onion rings,
Ronco's new Bondage-In-A-Bottle!
It won't crack, it won't slip, it won't peel, it won't budge,
It won't bite, it won't fade . . .
And of course a brand new, absolutely brand new,
New, new, and of course, but also a new car!

10. Ride My Face To Chicago 4:22

Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

Ride my face to Chicago
Ride it all night long
Ride my face to Chicago
Ride it all night long

Say oo-wee-oo-oo
(Oo-wee-oo-oo)
You can say that!
(Oo-wee-oo-oo)
One more time!
(Oo-wee-oo-oo)
Oh, well

Ride my . . .
Ride my face to Chicago
Ride it all night long
Ride my face to Chicago
Ride it all night long

All aboard?
(Oo-wee-oo-oo)
The train is leaving soon
(Oo-wee-oo-oo)
You must be on board with a ticket
(Oo-wee-oo-oo)
Will that be an aisle or a window?

Ride my . . . (Ride my!)
Ride on my face
Ride on my face
Ride on my face

Ride my face to Chicago
Ride it all night long
Ride my face to Chicago
Ride it all night long

Say oo-wee-oo-wee-wee-wee-wee
(Oo-wee-oo-oo)
Oo-wee-wee-oo oo-wee-oo oo-wee-wee
(Oo-wee-oo-oo)
Tell 'em what they win, Bob!
(Oo-wee-oo-oo)
From the spinning catalog!

Ride my . . .
Ride on my face
Ride on my face
(Pocket Fisherman!)
Ride on my face
Ride on my face
(Veg-O-Matic!)
Ride on my face
Ride on my face
(Oo-wee!)
Ride on my face
Ride my . . .

11. Carol, You Fool 4:06

Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

FZ: Thank you!

Oh Carol!
Oh Carol!

You was a fool
Carol, you fool
You was a fool
Carol, you fool

Carol, you fool
Don't you know you're crazy
He won't be true
But your mind's a little hazy
He'll break your heart
Don't let it start
But if you think it's better
Go ahead and buy 'm a sweater

Carol, you fool
You think you've got it so bad
(Thank you!)
Tryin' to steal some money
Just to get some more of what you had
And he's got the dog
And he has no log
No, he won't come back
So put away your black-jack

You wanna try
(You wanna try)
To rob some Mexican guy
(To rob a Mexican guy)
Beat him on the head
(Oh, you beat him on his head)
Maybe make him dead
(You just might make him dead)
Just so you can fly
(Oh, you wanna fly)
From Pittsburgh out to see him
(You said you really gotta see him)
Carol, you're a foolish fool
(Carol, oh-oh, girl!)
You don't really need him

Carol
Carol
(Oh . . . )
Carol
Carol
Fool
Fool
(Oh yeah!)
Fool
Carol, you fool

You wanna try
(Oh . . . you said you wanna try)
(You wanna try to rob some Mexican guy)
To rob some Mexican guy
(To rob a Mexican guy)
(You wanna beat him all over his head)
Beat him on the head
(Please, don't beat him on his head, girl)
(If you wanna make him dead,
Who knows what you want to do 'cause he's not . . . )

Maybe make him dead
(You just might make him dead)
Just so you can fly
(You say you gotta gotta fly)
From Pittsburgh out to see him
(You didn't . . . broccoli tonight)
(Fool, you really gotta see him)
Carol, you're a foolish fool
(Carol, oh-oh, girl!)
You don't really need him

Carol, you fool
I think you better try again
Carol, you fool
Don't wanna see you cry again
He's gone away
What can you say?
Carol, you fool
You'll meet another engineer

You was a fool
(Aw, Carol, you fool)
Carol, you fool
(Carol, you foolish fool)
You was a fool
(No!)
(Oh Carol, you . . . )
Carol, you fool
(Carol, you foolish, foolish fool)
You was a fool
(Oh Carol, you fool)
Carol, you fool
YOU!

12. Chana In De Bushwop 4:52

(FZ & Diva Zappa)

Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop

Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Chana in de Bushwop

She live in a tree
(They call her Chana in de Bushwop)
Nine foot three
(They call her Chana in de Bushwop)
Larger than me
(She's a Chana in de Bushwop)
And she's a mystery
(She's a Chana in de Bushwop)

They call her Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Where she goes . . .
Nobody knows

She eats a horse
(She's a Chana in de Bushwop)
It's very large of course
(Like a Chana in de Bushwop)
She wears a dog
(Like/Chaka Chana in de Bushwop)
And she loves that frog
(Like/Chaka Chana in de Bushwop)

They call her Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Where she goes . . .
Nobody knows

Chana, Chana, Chana, Chana
In de Bushwop
Chana, Chana, Chana, Chana
In de Bushwop
Chana, Chana, Chana, Chana
In de Bushwop
Chana, Chana, Chana, Chana
In de Bushwop

Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Chana in de Bushwop
In de Bushwop
Isn't that amazing?

She went to France
(Like a Chana in de Bushwop)
And she tried to dance
(Like a Chana in de Bushwop)
She raised a big fuss
(Like a Chana in de Bushwop)
In the back of the bus
(Like a Chana in de Bushwop)

One of those dudes with a long loaf of bread
Made a big mistake
When he turned and said:
"Chana inne zi bouchoipe
(Hey! Nice volcano!)
Chana inne zi bouchoipe
Hon hon hon!"

She banged his head
(Like a Chana in de Bushwop)
With a loaf of lead
(Like a Chana in de Bushwop)
She had this sucker weepin'
(Like a Chana in de Bushwop)
'Bout that sausage he's keepin'
(Like a Chana in de Bushwop)
He stood there weepin' on the crumbs
She said:

Isn't that amazing? Oh! It's just amazing . . .
Ha ha ha!
That's right! It's . . . it's broccoli for him!
Yes, oh, what?
Isn't that amazing?
Oh . . . uh . . .

Chana, Chana, Chana, Chana
(Broccoli for everyone!)
In de Bushwop
Chana, Chana, Chana, Chana
(It's on the house tonight!)
In de Bushwop
Chana, Chana, Chana, Chana
In de Bushwop
Chana, Chana, Chana, Chana
In de Bushwop

Chana from de Bushwop
From de Bushwop
Chana from de Bushwop
From de Bushwop
(Ka-poo!)
Where'd she go?
Well, I don't know!
I-da-ho!
(Wile E. Coyote!)

13. Joe's Garage 2:20

includes a quotation from Wipe Out (Berryhill/Connolly/Fuller/Wilson)

Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

It wasn't very large
There was just enough room to cram the drums
In the corner over by the Dodge
It was a fifty-four
With a mashed up door
And a cheesy little amp
With a sign on the front said
"Fender Champ"
And a second-hand guitar
It was a Veg-O-Matic with a whammy bar
(Back to you, Bill!)

We could jam in Joe's Garage
His mama was screamin'
"THAR SHE BLOWS!"
His dad was mad
We was playin' the same old song
In the afternoon 'n sometimes we would
Play it all night long
It was all we knew, 'n easy too
So we wouldn't get it wrong
Even if we played it on a saxophone

Sure!
Isn't that amazing?

We thought we was pretty good
We talked about keepin' the band together
'N we figured that we should
'Cause about this time we was gettin' the eye
From the girls in the neighborhood
They'd all come over 'n dance around like . . .

The diamond is the hardest substance known to man,
But you can't . . .

So we picked out a stupid name
Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks
'N we was on our way to fame
(Isn't that amazing?)
Got matching suits
'N Beatle Boots
'N a sign on the back of the car
'N we was ready to work in a GO-GO Bar
ONE TWO THREE FOUR
CHOP THAT BROCCOLI SOME MORE!

People seemed to like our song
They got up 'n danced 'n made a lotta noise
An' it wasn't 'fore very long
A guy from a company we can't name
Said we oughta take his pen
'N sign on the line for a real good time
But he didn't tell us when
These "good times" would be somethin'
That was really happenin'
So the band broke up
An' it looks like (poo-pooh)
We will never play again . . . (wee-ooh)

Guess you only get one chance in life
To play a song that goes like . . .

14. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? 3:06

Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984
and
Paramount Theatre, Seattle, Washington
December 17, 1984
and ending from:
Forum, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
November 2, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocal
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

FZ: This is dedicated to the two guys in the crew who went to see the doctor today

Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don't want the doctor
To stick that UTAH in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
'N grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat

My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
(No no no no . . . )
I probably got the
SALT LAKE CITY GON-O-KHACKUS!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it hurt . . .
(So you don't forget: call before midnite tonight!)
When . . .
(Tell 'em what they win, Bob!)
I
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

FZ: Intermission! We'll be back in half an hour

disc 2

1. Dickie's Such An Asshole 10:08

includes quotations from Midnight Sun (Hampton/Burke/Mercer), The Battle Hymn Of The Republic (Steffe/Howe) and Billy The Mountain

The Roxy, Los Angeles, CA
December 8-10, 1973

musicians 1973:
FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Napoleon Murphy Brock—sax/vocal
George Duke—keyboard/vocal
Ruth Underwood—percussion
Bruce Fowler—trombone
Tom Fowler—bass
Chester Thompson—drums
Ralph Humphrey—drums
+
Marty Perellis—announcement
Lewis Saul—voice

The Palladium Dressing Room, NYC
October 31, 1977

voices 1977:
Terry Bozzio
Roy Estrada
Adrian Belew

Marty Perellis: Okay, hold your applause for one second. Alright, we can come up and do another encore provided everybody provides with the liquor laws, so, pass any glasses that are on the table to the end of the aisle and Mario'll let us do another encore, so just, anybody with a glass: Don't give the waitress a hard time, just pass the glasses to the end of the aisle so the bus boys and waitresses can get it, and don't say it's the last sip. Okay, and once again: Frank Zappa and The Mothers Of Invention!

FZ: Thank you!
Crowd: "Zomby Woof"! "I'm The Slime"! "Zomby Woof"!
FZ: No!
Crowd: Yeah!
FZ: Listen
Crowd: "Louie Louie"! "My Boyfriend's Back"!
FZ: Ah, they're going to ah, reload the cameras and we're gonna do a special, 'nuther special number for you, ladies and gentlemen
Lewis: "Dwarf Nebula Processional March & Dwarf Nebula"!
Crowd: "Louie Louie"! "LOUIE LOUIE"!
FZ: That was quite an experience. "Dwarf Nebula"! Good God! Have you been there too? Alright! It's audience participation time again, ladies and gentlemen. The name of this song is, "Dickie's Such An Asshole," and cancel that for television too, and here's how, here's how the ending goes, and you can sing along. It goes:

DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE
Sincerely, Dick, we mean it!
Wee-ooo

FZ: Alright, we don't need to practice that, you know, I'm sure you got the lick down just like "El Monte," I'll show you where it comes. It's right at the end of the song, just where all those endings belong. (Let's give it right to them! Give it to them. I mean: this is going to them.) Good Lord, we're so professional!

One 'n one is eleven!
Two 'n two is twenty-two!
Won't somebody kindly tell me,
What the government's tryin' t' do . . .
Dickie's just too tricky
For a chump like me to use
Well, you'd take that sub-committee serious, boy
You might get a seizure from the evenin' news

Well, yeah, yeah,
Millions 'n millions of dollars . . .
Much as he might need . . .
He could open up a chain of motels, people,
On the highway, yes indeed!

Quadrophonic desperation!
You know, there'd be a cable all under your bed
Well, if you just might break some wind in your slumber
The FBI is gonna get your number

GONNA GET YA
GONNA GET YA
GONNA JUMP UP THE SUB-COMMITTEE AND GET YA!

GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
DONE GOT YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
DONE GOT YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER

GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER

Tryin' not to worry
Tryin' not to care
But you know, I get delighted
When some microphone's not there

Can't have no private conversations
Nowhere
In the USA
Can't wait 'til the rest of the people all over the the world
Find out that their government
Is just the same ol' way
Yeah, every day . . .

Let me tell you one thing right now
Let me tell you one thing right here
Let me make this perfectly clear
Let me tell you 'bout this right here
You know you put me in office
So you must have wanted me in office
I've did you no harm
You know I'm not a crook
You know I'm innocent
I had twenty-five tapes
I only have ten
I don't know what happened to the rest
Musta gave 'em to a friend
Bebe
Somebody
Ronald
Somebody
Who
Was it?
Who?
We know you're not a crook
We know you're not a crook
All we wanna say is one more thing now:

The gangster stepped right up,
Kissed him on the lip good-bye
Made him a cocksucker by proxy, yes he did,
An' he didn't even bat an eye!

The man in the White House—oh!
He's got a conscience—oh!
He's got a conscience as black as sin!
There's just one thing I wanna know—
How'd that asshole ever manage to get in?

FZ: Here it comes, ladies and gentlemen, sing right along:

DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE
Sincerely, Dick, we mean it
Wee-ooo

?: You missed your girl out there . . .
Terry: Lemme tell ya . . . I love this man, I work for this man, but this show has like pushed me beyond the brink of what I can physically . . .
Roy: WHOAAAH!
Terry: Withstand. (Sigh) My hands are . . . I mean, look at these calluses! Jesus Christ! I've had a hard tour, I mean, Jesus, we had the, the, the fucking roadmanager committed suicide
Adrian: Oh Terry!
Terry: Then my girlfriend fell out the fuckin' window
Adrian: Oh Terry!
Terry: I mean, it's been hard, you know, and, and now man! I mean, shit, this fuckin' shit, I mean, we have to do two, two fuckin' shows, two nights in a row! You know what it's like to beat the shit out of the fuckin' drums, two shows . . .
Adrian: Two nights in a row!
Terry: . . . two nights in a row!? I MEAN I CAN'T FUCKIN' TAKE THAT KINDA SHIT!
Adrian: HE CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! He can't take it anymore, look at his hands . . .
Terry: My hands, hey, I feel like I've been pounding nails, I feel like I've been hittin' my goddamn hands with a hammer!

2. Hands With A Hammer 3:18

(Terry Bozzio)

Kosei Nenkin Kaikan, Osaka, Japan
February 3, 1976

Terry Bozzio—drum solo

 

3. Zoot Allures 6:09

Intro:
Kosei Nenkin Kaikan, Osaka, Japan
February 3, 1976

Guitar solo:
Les Arenes, Cap D'agde, France
May 30, 1982

musicians 1976:
FZ—guitar
Napoleon Murphy Brock—sax
André Lewis—keyboards
Roy Estrada—bass
Terry Bozzio—drums

musicians 1982:
FZ—lead guitar
Ray White—rhythm guitar
Steve Vai—stunt guitar
Tommy Mars—keyboards
Bobby Martin—keyboards
Ed Mann—percussion
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

 

4. Society Pages 2:32

The Palladium, NYC
October 31, 1981

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ray White—guitar/vocal
Steve Vai—stunt guitar
Tommy Mars—keyboards/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocals
Ed Mann—percussion
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

You're the ol' lady from the society pages
From a small town somewhere I used to be
You owned the paper and a bunch of other stuff
That didn't appeal to me

OL' LADY, OL' LADY
OL' LADY, OL' LADY
OL' LADY, OL' LADY
OL' LADY, OL' LADY

The hospital plans (yer brother drew 'em all)
You ran the paper 'n the Charity Ball
Every day on the third or fourth page
There you was . . . you was quite the rage

Somehow, you was all kinda cheap 'n wrong
Just like in a lotta small towns
Where folks like you
Hang around too long
And pass out jobs to yer relatives 'n such
So you all keeps a lot, 'cept but nobody else
Ever gets too much . . . to speak of . . .
But so what? What can you say?

So long as the trash gets picked up
So long as the trash gets locked up
Just so the trash don't stack up
Some day you won't be on page three
Or page four anymore

OL' LADY, OL' LADY
OL' LADY, OL' LADY
OL' LADY, OL' LADY
OL' LADY, OL' LADY

By the grace of God you had a son
He's the one and only one
He grew up and by and by
He came to be a Beautiful Guy

5. I'm A Beautiful Guy 1:54

includes a quotation from Johnny's Theme (Paul Anka)

The Palladium, NYC
October 31, 1981

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ray White—guitar/vocal
Steve Vai—stunt guitar
Tommy Mars—keyboards/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocals
Ed Mann—percussion
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

I'm a beautiful guy
And you have walked by
I gave you the eye
But you pretend to be shy
But I'm a beautiful guy
(You know what I mean? You know what I mean?)
And so I wanna know why, why, why
You make me cry, cry, cry
'Cause you wanna try, try, try
Some stupid game on me
They're drinking lighter
They're full of water
I hear them say:
"Let's jog . . . "
They're playing tennis
Their butts are tighter
What could be whiter?
Hey?

Your athletic approach has a lot of appeal
The girl is responding to your little deal
She's modern 'n empty 'n totally vain
But beauty, of course, can feel no pain
No pain
No pain
No pain

6. Beauty Knows No Pain 2:55

The Palladium, NYC
October 31, 1981

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ray White—guitar/vocal
Steve Vai—stunt guitar
Tommy Mars—keyboards/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocals
Ed Mann—percussion
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

Beauty knows no pain
So what you cryin' about
Girl
Beauty knows no pain
So what you cryin' about
Girl
Beauty knows no
Beauty knows no
Beauty knows no

Even if you're plain
You could be tryin' it out
Girl
Even if you're plain
You could be tryin' it out
Girl
Beauty is no
Beauty is no
Beauty is no
Beauty is a bikini wax 'n waitin' for yer nails to dry
Beauty is a colored pencil, scribbled all around your eye
Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die

Beauty is a
Beauty is a
Beauty is a
Lie

But you don't care if it's a lie
'Cause you are such a beautiful guy
(ARF!)
Your head is north, and your feet is south
And you save the rest for Charlie's mouth

Your head is north
And your feet is south
And you save the rest for
CHARLIE'S ENORMOUS MOUTH
ENORMOUS MOUTH

7. Charlie's Enormous Mouth 3:39

The Palladium, NYC
October 31, 1981

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ray White—guitar/vocal
Steve Vai—stunt guitar
Tommy Mars—keyboards/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocals
Ed Mann—percussion
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

Charlie's enormous mouth, well, it's awright
The girl's got a very large mouth, but it's awright
Her teeth look okay
She must be brushin' 'em quite a bit
'Course her mouth is extra large
'N we can only assume as to how
She's been usin' it

Charlie's enormous mouth, well, it's awright
The girl got a very large mouth, but it's awright
She got lips all around the hole
Where she puts her food in
They call it THE MOUTH
They call it THE MOUTH
They call it THE MOUTH
Which is as good a place as any for a tongue
To include in, that's why
They call it THE MOUTH
They call it THE MOUTH
They call it THE MOUTH

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la

(Kinda young
Kinda wow . . . )

Charlie's enormous nose, well, it's all white
The girl's got a very large nose but it's all white
It once was okay
But she's been blowin' it quite a bit
'Course her friends are extra large
'N we can only assume as to how
She's been choosin' it

Charlie's enormous nose, well, it's all white
The girl's got a very large nose, but it's all white
She got stuff all around the hole
Where she puts her spoon in
They call it THE NOSE
They call it THE NOSE
They call it THE NOSE
And when it finally rots away I guess you'd
Prob'ly drive a truck in . . . they used to
Call it THE NOSE
They called it THE NOSE
They called it THE NOSE

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la

(Kinda young
Kinda dead . . . )

Charlie's disgusting brain, well, it's all black
The girl's got a very dead brain, it won't come back
She used to convey
But then she took an extra hit
'Course her friends are extra dumb
'N they were terribly excited while they
Watched her doin' it

Charlie's disgusting brain, well it's all black
The girl got a very dead brain, it won't come back
She's got dirt all around the hole
Where they dumped her box in
They call it THE GRAVE
They call it THE GRAVE
They call it THE GRAVE
Which is as good a place as any for a
Chump to repose in . . . that's why they
Call it THE GRAVE
They call it THE GRAVE
They call it THE GRAVE . . .

8. Cocaine Decisions 3:14

translation

1st part:
Bismarck Theater, Chicago, Illinois
November 23, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ike Willis—guitar/vocal
Ray White—guitar/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocal
Allan Zavod—keyboards
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

2nd part:
Stadio Communale, Palermo, Sicily
July 14, 1982

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ray White—guitar/vocal
Steve Vai—stunt guitar
Tommy Mars—keyboards/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocals
Ed Mann—percussion
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums
+
Massimo Bassoli—announcement

Chop a line now . . .
Cocaine decisions . . .
You are a person with a snow job
You got a fancy gotta-go job
Where the cocaine decision that you make today
Will mean that millions somewhere else
Will do it your way

Cocaine decisions . . .
You are a person who is high class
You are a person not in my class
And the cocaine decision that you make today
Will mean nothing later on
When you get nose decay

I don't wanna know
'Bout the things that you pull
Outta your nose
Or where they goes
But if you are wasted
From the stuff you're stickin' in it
I get madder every day
'Cause what you do 'n what you say
Affects my life in such a way
I learn to hate it every minute!
Aie-aie-aie-aiee!

. . . cisions . . .
You are a doctor or a lawyer
You got an office with a foyer
Where the cocaine decision that you make today
Will not be discovered till it's over 'n done
By the customers you hold at bay

Cocaine decisions . . .
You are a movie business guy
You have accountants who supply
The necessary figures
To determine when you fly
To Acapulco
Where all your friends go

FZ: Massimo, come here! Yeah, bring the band on down behind me, boys
Massimo: Ragazzi per favore, Zappa vorrebbe dirvi di stare calmi, di non gettare niente nello stadio e di non . . . Avere problemi con la polizia, cercate di stare calmi. Non sappiamo esattamente cosa sta succedendo, pero' cercate di mantenere la calma cosi' si puo' andare avanti con lo spettacolo . . .
FZ: Now listen! We want to continue the concert, we want to keep playing music. Will you please be calm, sit down and relax so we can play music. Seduti, per favore!
Guy #1: Ma che e'?
Guy #2: Hanno rotto, hanno rotto sta porta qui, no? Hanno rotto sta porta qui perche' veniva in campo, allora siccome la polizia si e' . . . con la porta aperta non voleva entrasse tutta la gente. Capito?
FZ: "Nig Biz."

9. Nig Biz 4:58

includes a quotation from The Tracks Of My Tears (Robinson/Moore/Tarplin)

Stadio Communale, Palermo, Sicily
July 14, 1982

FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ray White—guitar/vocal
Steve Vai—stunt guitar
Tommy Mars—keyboards/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocals
Ed Mann—percussion
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

I signed on the line
For seven long years
They said I'd be a big star
They said I'd get a big car
All the coke I could toot
All the dope I could shoot
All the smoke I could smoke
But now I'm beat up 'n broke

They said I oughta re-record
"The Tracks Of My Tears"
They said, "Hey! This is it!
It's gonna be a big hit"

With my name up in lights
And some custom-made tights
All the girls call my name
(Massimo!)
But it was all just a game

Nigger Biznis
Nigger Biznis
Well, Nigger Biznis all the time
Well, Nigger Biznis has brought disaster
On top of this here heart of mine

(Right now's the time to play the blues!)

Well, one day that contract will expire
One day I will be free
From that Nig (oh!)
Oh, Nig-ig-ig (oh!)
Nigger Biznis office
Nigger Biznis office
Representing me
Nigger Biznis
Nigger Biznis
Oh, Nigger Biznis all the time, all along
Well, Nigger Biznis has brought destruction
Which is why you're hearin' this song

10. King Kong 24:32

includes quotations from Shakin' All Over (Heath), Big Swifty, Yo Cats (FZ/Mariano), Uncle Meat, A Love Supreme (Coltrane), Midnight Sun (Hampton/Burke/Mercer) and the William Tell Overture (Rossini)

Mystery word section:
Parc Des Expositions, Metz, France
June 22, 1982

percussion solo: Ed Mann

Sax & 1st guitar solo:
Rainbow Theatre, London, UK
December 10, 1971

sax solo: Ian Underwood
guitar solo: FZ

Keyboard solo & 'I Want A Garden':
Hammersmith Odeon, London, UK
June 19, 1982

keyboard solo: Tommy Mars

Denny Walley's "You want kindergarden"
(from Don't Eat The Yellow Snow on You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 1):
Hammersmith Odeon, London, UK
February 17-19, 1979

2nd guitar solo:
Palais des Sports, Dijon, France
June 3, 1982

guitar solo: FZ

musicians 1982:
FZ—lead guitar/vocal
Ray White—guitar/vocal
Steve Vai—stunt guitar
Tommy Mars—keyboards/vocal
Bobby Martin—keyboards/sax/vocals
Ed Mann—percussion
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

musicians 1971:
FZ—guitar/vocal
Mark Volman—vocal
Howard Kaylan—vocal
Jim Pons—bass/vocal
Don Preston—keyboards/electronics
Ian Underwood—keyboards/alto sax
Aynsley Dunbar—drums

AAAAH . . .
(Oui!)
AAAAAAH . . .

Bidet!
(Sport shirt)
BLOOOW-JOB
Jambon
(Corn-hole!)

(Sport shirt!)
Bidet!
(Corn . . . hole)
Jambon

BLOOOW-JOB
(Corn-hole!)
Bidet!
(Sport shirt)
Bidet!
(Sport shirt, sport shirt, sport shirt, sport shirt)
Bidet!

OOO-AHH!!

Bidet!
Bidet, bidet, bidet, bidet, bidet, bidet, bidet, bidet, bi . . .
(Corn-hole . . . corn-hole . . . )
(Sport shirt, sport shirt, sport shirt, sport shirt, sport shirt . . .)
BLOW-JOB! BLOW-JOB! BLOW-JOB!
Jambon, jambon, jambon, jambon . . .

(Couchon . . . )

Bidet! Bidet!
(Sport shirt, sport shirt)
Cooooorn-HOOOOLE!

Ed:
Thank you
Oh thank you, you're really too kind
Thank you, thank you so much
Thank you, thank you
Blow-job!

FZ: Ed Mann, ladies and gentlemen!

Oui!
Avec oui, oui
(Sport shirt)
Now for the next part of our program,
We'd like to present, ah . . .
BLOW-JOB!
Bidet! BLOW-JOB!
Jambon! Corn-hole!
Jambon! BLOW-JOB!
Jambon . . . Bidet! . . . Blow-job . . . Bidet . . .

I want a garden!
I want a garden!
I want a garden!
(I WANT A NUN
I WANT A NUN
I WANT A BURRO IN THE FROSTY LIGHT)
I want a garden!
(I WANT A NUN)

I want a garden . . .
Just like the garden
That that asshole came up here on the stage
And sang about, three years ago . . .
He came up out of the audience,
He said: "I want a garden!
I want a garden!
I wanna water it with my tears . . . "
And then Denny Walley said:

Denny: Oh, you want kindergarten!

Hail CAESAR!

11. Cosmik Debris 5:13

includes a quotation from Who Knows (Hendrix)

Paramount Theatre, Seattle, Washington
December 17, 1984
and
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, Portland, Oregon
December 20, 1984
and ending from:
The Pier, NYC
August 25-26, 1984

FZ—lead guitar/vocals
Ike Willis—rhythm guitar/vocals
Ray White—rhythm guitar/vocals
Bobby Martin—keyboards/vocals
Allan Zavod—keyboards/volcano
Scott Thunes—bass
Chad Wackerman—drums

The Mystery Man came over
An' he said: "I'm outa-site!"
He said, for a nominal service charge,
I could reach nervonna t'nite
If I was ready, willing 'n able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote His Attention to me
But I said . . .
Look here brother,
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now what kind of a MASKED MAN are you anyway?)
Look here brother,
Don't you waste your time on me

The Mystery Man got nervous
An' he sorta fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe
An' he whipped out a shaving kit
Now, I thought it was a razor
An' a can of foamin' goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of Hi-Yo, Silver
An' the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said:
"You might not believe this, Tonto
But it'll fix up that war-paint for ya too!"

An' I said . . .
Look here brother,
(Thank you, Masked Man, thank you!)
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Ah! Masked Man's a fag!)
Look here brother,
Don't you waste your time on me

I've got troubles of my own, I said
An' you can't help me out
So take your meditations an' your preparations
An' cram it up yer snout
"BUT I GOT A SILVER BOL!," he said
An' held it on up to his horse
So I snatched it
All away from him
An' I showed him how to do it right, of course
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I'd look like I was Deep
I said some Mumbo Jumbos then
I told him he was goin' to sleep
I robbed his rings
An' his pocket watch
An' everything else I found
I had that sucker/swami hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
(Where'd you get those beautiful . . . ?)
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around,
I said
"The price of pyjamas has just gone up
An' that ol' swami have just gone down . . . "

(Uh-oh!)
Look here swami,
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now is that a real poncho or is that a Seattle poncho?
Who can tell anymore?)

Don't you know,
You could make more money in syndication,
So don't you waste your trap on me
(Don't Sri Chin, don't Sri Chinmoy on me . . . )
Ohm shonty, ohm shonty, ohm NAVY-ohm

FZ: Ray White, Chad Wackerman, Scott Thunes, Allan Zavod, Bobby Martin, Ike Willis. Thank you!

 

All compositions by Frank Zappa except as noted
Site maintained by Román García Albertos
http://globalia.net/donlope/fz/
Lyrics from the original albums
Original transcription for new material from St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage mainly by Hans Hendriks and Patrick Neve
Further corrections and additions by Román, John W. Busher, John Florek, Bossk (R), Charles Ulrich, Stu Mark and Hal Charles
This page updated: 2014-03-18