Tinsel Town Rebellion

Well, yeah, well
Oh yeah
She was a fine girl
She could get down wit de get down
All de way down
She do yer laundry
She change a tire
Chop a little wood for de fire
Poke it around . . . if it died down

Oh yeah
She was a fine girl
She go up in the mornin'
She go down in the evenin' . . . all de way down
She do the dishes
If you wishes
Silverware too
Make it look brand new . . . when she get through
Oh yeah
She was a fine girl
Outa this world

Well, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well
Oh yeah
She was a fine girl
(Oh . . . )
She could get down wit de get down
All de way down
She do your laundry
(Oh no)
She change a tire
(Yeah yeah)
Chop a little wood for de fire
(Ooh)
Poke it around . . . if it died down

Oh yeah
(Oh yeah)
She was a fine girl
(Fine girl)
With a lovely smile
With a bucket on her head
Fulla water from de well
She could run a mile
Oh yeah
(Yeah . . . )
She wouldn't spill a drop
It'd stay on top
(No no)
Her head was kinda flat
But her hair covered that
She was a fine girl
(Yeah yeah fine girl, my)
Didn't need no school
(No)
She was built like a mule
(Like a mule)
With a thong sandal
Well, wasn't no kinda job she could not handle
(Prrrr . . . oh-how)
She could get down . . .
(Go . . . )
Wit de get down
(Yeah yeah)
All de way down
(WOW)
We need some more like dat
(We need)
In dis kinda town
(Some more like dat)
We need some more like dat
(We need some more like dat)
(In dis kin-da)
In dis kinda town
(In dis kinda town)
(Tow-win . . . Hey!)
(We need some more like dat)
We need some more like dat
(We need some more like dat)
(We need some more)
In dis kinda town
(In dis kinda town)
(Like dat in dis)
(We need some more like dat)
We need some more like dat
(We need some more like dat)
(Kin-da tow-win)
In dis kinda town
(In dis kinda town)
(Hey! We need)
(We need some more like dat)
We need some more like dat
(We need some more like dat)
(Some more like dat)
In dis kinda town
(In dis kinda town)
(In dis kin-da)
(We need some more like dat)
We need some more like dat
(We need some more like dat)
(Tow-win . . . Hey!)
In dis kinda town
(In dis kinda town)
(We need some more)
(We need some more like dat)
We need some more like dat
(We need some more like dat)
(Like dat in dis)
In dis kinda town
(In dis kinda town)
(Kin-da tow-win)
(We need some more like dat)
We need some more like dat
(Hey!)

This girl is easy meat
I seen her on the street
See-through blouse an' a tiny little dress
Her manner indiscreet . . . I knew she was
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy, easy
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat

She wanna take me home
Make me sweat and moan
Rub my head and beat me off
With a copy of Rollin' Stone
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy, easy
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat

O'Hearn: Uh, wish he'd play something else . . . 'Cause, uh, they just aren't gonna stand for it . . .

I told her I was late
I had another date
I can't get off on the Rollin' Stone
But the robots think it's great . . . I knew she was
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy,
Easy, easy
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat

Easy
She's so easy
Easy
I saw her tiny titties
Through her see-through blouse
Just had to take the girl to my house
Easy
Meat

Baby baby why you cryin'
Feeling sorry what she said
Put down that rag, I told her then
Don't wanna hear you cry again
Dear heart, dear heart
Tell me, tell me what's the reason
Dear heart, dear heart
Tell me, tell me what's the reason

You know she went to see the doctor
And then she read a magazine
Forget that book, I told her then
Don't wanna hear about the book again
Dear heart, dear heart
Work out, Vinnie
Tell me, tell me what's the reason
Dear heart, dear heart
I thought you were in love, Vinnie
Tell me, tell me what's the reason

There was a picture on the story
That showed a young sophisticator
Who falls in love three pages later
With some aggressive agitator
And by and by he comes to hate her
'Cause she don't shave her underarms
And he can't go for that
'Cause he's a young sophisticator

Baby baby why you cryin'
It made me wonder what she said
Forget that book I told her then
Don't wanna hear 'bout the book again
Dear heart, dear heart
Tell me, tell me what's the reason
Dear heart, dear heart
How you doin', Vinnie?
Tell me, tell me what's the reason

Would you still love me if my hair grew
All down the side of my kimono
Well of course I would, it might be hip
If it did not cause you to trip
Dear heart, dear heart
Or radiate a bad aroma
Dear heart, dear heart
Or radiate a cheap aroma
Dear heart, dear heart
Or radia-iate, or radia-ia-ia-iate a Butzis aroma
Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Love of my life

FZ: Thank you!

Love of my life

Love of my life, I love you so
Love of my life, don't ever go
I love you only
Love, love of my life
(Love of my life)

Stars in the sky
They never lie
Tell me you need me
Don't say goodbye
(Don't say it)
I love you only
Love,
(Love)
Love of my life

Stars in the sky
They never lie
Tell me you need me
Don't say goodbye
I love you darling
I love you only
Don't ever leave me
Don't make me lonely

Love of my life
I love you so
(I love, I love, I love you so)
Love of my life
Don't ever go
I love you only
Love, love of my life
Love of my life
Love of my life
Love of my life
Love of my life
Love of my . . .

Ain't got no heart
I ain't got no heart to give away
I sit and laugh at fools in love
(Ha ha ha!)
There ain't no such thing as love
(Ha ha!)
No angels singing up above today

Girl I don't believe
Girl I don't believe in what you say
You say your heart is only mine
I say to you, you must be blind
What makes you think that you're so fine
That I would throw away
The groovy life I lead
'Cause baby, what you've got, yeah
It sure ain't what I need

Girl you'd better go
Girl you'd better go away
I think that life with you would be
Just not quite the thing for me
Why is it so hard to see my way

Why should I be stuck with you
(Stuck with you)
It's just not what I want to do
(Want to do)
Why should an embrace or two
(Embrace or two)
Make me such a part of you
(Part of you)
I ain't got no heart to give away
Away
No no no no no no no
Ain't got no heart
Ain't got no heart
I ain't got no heart to give away

FZ: Hello there, welcome to the show. No, we're not going to play "Cheepnis"—that's right—but we are collecting underpants, and we are collecting brassieres, we are collecting small articles of feminine underclothing. We are making a quilt . . . really—trust me. So here's the deal, if you're a girl and you're wearing a dress, whip 'em off, that's it, see? No problem. Even with a pin . . . what does it say? 'Nobody's perfect'. I guess so . . . What we got here? Oh. Now let's see what's on the inside. Uh huh, trainer coos. Okay. S'more, s'more . . . Underpants, brassieres, just send 'em up, no problem. Oh, you'll warm up to it. If you're wearing pants and you have bikinis on underneath your pants, rip the edges and pull 'em out; if you're wearing those big old ugly cotton jobs go to the toilet and take 'em off, okay? So far, ladies and gentlemen, the response from this particular community has not been especially gratifying. Perhaps you're a little bit too intellectual here. Here's something . . . tasteful, very tasteful . . . You'll get into it. Oh, some more—look—it's almost like going to a, well, never mind. Heh, heh, heh. I just want to remind you that you are in direct competition with Chicago, which so far has produced the highest yield of female underclothes of any place in the United States. Oh, here's one, thank you very much. Chicago, if you'll recall, was the town in which we received the very famous Voodoo Butter Underpants . . . heh, heh . . . the pants that nearly broke Tommy Mars' neck. As soon as he took a whiff of those, his head went back this far, and he was heard to mutter 'Jeezus'. So, we don't care what kind of condition they're in. What've we got here? 'Twat Book', okay. Uh huh, very good—Zeets, whadduya think? He already has that one . . . no problem, though. Well, tonight you're gonna be entertained by; Ike Willis on guitar and vocals; Tommy Mars on keyboards and 'Jeezus'. You're also going to be entertaining yourselves a little bit, but don't worry about it. Steve Vai on guitar, vocals and light blue hair.

Ike: Another contestant over there.

FZ: Oh, some more? Okay. Vinnie Colaiuta on booklet. Now what does this say? 'Hi Frank, how about' . . . what does this say? 'My hat from the . . . how about wearing my hat . . . wearing . . . ' How about this, this is a college community, right? 'How about wearing, w-e-r-e-i-n-g, never mind. Arthur Barrow on bass; Bob Harris on keyboards, high vocal, trumpet and vegetables; and, ladies and gentlemen, the world-famous Ray White on guitar and vocals. Okay, you ready?

One, two, three, four . . .

Tell me you love me, tell me you love me
Like I want you to
Tell me you love me, tell me you love me
Girl . . . girl . . . girl . . .
I love you so hard now, I'm cryin' for you
Don't make me lose my pride
I want to come inside
And grab ahold of you, thank you
Grab ahold of you

Tell me you love me, tell me you love me
Like I want you to
Tell me you love me, tell me you love me
Girl . . . girl . . . girl . . .
I want to feel it, give me your love now
Don't make me steal it, don't make me steal it
Tell me you love me, tell me you love me,
Tell me you love me, tell me you love me
Tell me you love me, tell me you love me,
Tell me you love me, tell me you love me

Tell me you love me, tell me you love me
Like I want you to
Tell me you love me, tell me you love me
Girl . . . girl . . . girl . . .
I love you so hard now, I'm cryin' for you
Burnin' with fire, I gotta hot desire
'Cause I gotta make love with you,
'Cause I gotta make love with you
'Cause I gotta make love with you,
'Cause I gotta make love with you

Tell me you love me, like I want you to
Tell me you love me, like I want you to
Tell me you love me, like I want you to

 

FZ: One of the . . . One the things that I like best about playing in New York is this particular place, because it has—it has a stage that is conducive to, how you say in the trade, audience participation. Now if there's one thing that I really like, it's, uh, audience participation. Now listen . . . I gotta figure out something that I can, uh—d'you think we should have another dance contest tonight? Oh, hey—the injured person dance contest. Uh—Well, let's see . . . Awright, I'll tell you what we're going to do. Here's a, here's a guy who really wants to be in the dance contest aw-reety, aw-righty, hey. Okay . . . What . . . what . . . ?

Butch: You are great, man—you are great. You are the best, baby. Do 'Dinah-Moe Humm.'

FZ: All right, now wait a minute—what's your name? Hey, hey—what's your name?

Butch: Butch.

FZ: Awright, the dynamic Butch. Here's a girl that wants to dance with Butch. What's your name?

Lena: Lena.

FZ: What?

Lena: Lena.

FZ: Lena, meet Butch. Okay, Lena and Butch, couple number one. Heh heh. Okay, let's see—that guy there, with his . . . that—that one there with the teeshirt on—no, no, the other one—this one—no, no—no no no, wait a minute, wait . . . well, you're—actually, you're very nice, though. Would you like to come up here? . . . Okay, but d'you think you can behave yourself? You, you're sure you can behave yourself? . . . Okay, what's your name?

Guy: Tom, man. (mumble, mumble) you, baby, I (mumble, mumble) (gurgle) you (mumble, mmf, etc.).

Guy: Arrgh, mmmf, glurg, etc.

FZ: Awright, now wait a minute. Awright, awright, now wait . . .

Guy: (mumble, mmf.) Ugliness! Ugliness!

Other Guy: Frank, you're my buddy! Arrgh, mmf.

FZ: Awright, wait a minute, wait a minute. I have an—I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful, I just want to tell you somethin'—there's more of us ugly mother-fuckers than you are, hey-y, so watch out. Now . . .

Guy (Butch?): Will you bring my girlfriend on stage, maybe?

FZ: Sure. All right, now you—he wants to get his girlfriend—go get your girlfriend.

Girl: Hey Zap!

FZ: Good to see you again.

Girl: Squeak!

FZ: I know.

Guy: I ain't no fucking queer.

FZ: All right, now look, here's what we're going to do. Awright. Now. This—it'll be mashed, I'll save them, I'll save them for later.

Guy: I'm not a fucking queer.

FZ: This man is trying desperately to let everybody know that he is not a queer. He's not queer, he's not queer. Awright, and now . . . You are going to dance, like you've never danced before . . .

Your ethos
Your pathos
Your Porthos
Your Aramis
Your Brut Cologne
You're writing home
You are hopeless
Your hopelessness
Is rising around you, rising around you
You like it
It gives you something to do
In the day time

Hey buddy, you need a hobby
You are tired of moving forward
You think of the future
And secretly you piddle your pants
The puddle of piddle
Which used to be little
Is rising around you, rising around you
You like it
It gives you something to do
In the night time

Oh well, you travel to bars
You also go to Winchell's Doughnuts
And hang out with the Highway Patrol
Sometimes you'll go to a pizza place
You go to Shakey's to get that
American kind of pizza
That has the ugly, waxey, fake yellow kind
Of cheese on the top . . .
Then you go to Straw Hat Pizza,
To get all those artificial ingredients
That never belonged on a pizza in the first place
(But the white people really like it . . . )
Oh well, you'll go anyplace, you'll do anything
Oh you'll give me your underpants
I hope these aren't yours, buddy . . .
They're very nice, though
You'll go to Santa Monica Boulevard,
You'll go to the Blue Parrot
No problem, you'll go anyplace
You'll do anything
Just so you can hang out with the others
The others just like you
Afraid of the future
(Death Valley Days straight ahead)
The future is scary
(Yes it sure is)

Well, the puddle is rising
It smells like the ocean
A body of water to isolate England
And also Reseda
The oil in patches
All over Atlantis, Atlantis
You remember Atlantis
Donovan, the guy with the brocade coat
Used to sing to you about Atlantis
You loved it, you were so involved then
That's back in the days when you used to
Smoke a banana
You would scrape the stuff off the middle
You would bake it
You would smoke it
You even thought you was getting ripped from it
No problem
Ah Atlantis, they could really get down there
The plankton, the krill
The giant underwater pyramid
(Hear me out)
The squid decor
Excuse me, Todd
The big ol' giant underwater door
The dome, the bubbles, the blue light

Light, light, light, light, blue
Light, light, light, light, blue
Blue light blue light
The seepage, the sewage, the rubbers, the napkins
Your ethos, your Porthos,
Your flag pole, your port hole
Your language
You're frightened
The future, your lang . . .
You can't even speak your own fucking language
You can't read it anymore
You can't write it anymore
Your language
The future of your language
Your meat loaf
Don't let your meat loaf
Heh, heh, heh
Your Micro-Nanette
Your Brut
Cologne

From Madam Wong's to Starwood
To the Whiskey on the Strip
You can hear the crashing, blasting strum
Of bands that come to be real hip
And get a record contract
From a talent scout some day
They'll sell their ass, their cocks and balls
They'll take the check 'n walk away
If they're lucky they'll get famous
For a week or two perhaps
They'll buy some ugly clothes to wear
And hope the business don't collapse
Before some stupid magazine
Decides they're really good
They're a Tinsel Town Rebellion Band
From downtown Hollywood

Tinsel Town Rebellion,
Tinsel Town Rebellion Band
It's a little bitty Tinsel Town Rebellion
A Tinsel Town Rebellion Band

They used to play all kinds of stuff
And some of it was nice
Some of it was musical
But then they took some guy's advice
To get a record deal, he said,
They would have to be more punk
Forget their chops and play real dumb
Or else they would be sunk
So off they go to S.I.R. to learn some stupid riffs
And practice all their poses
In between their powder sniffs

Chop a line now, snort it up now

And when they think they've got it
They launch a new career
Who gives a fuck if what they play
Is somewhat insincere

Tinsel Town Rebellion,
Tinsel Town Rebellion Band
A Tinsel Town Rebellion,
A Tinsel Town Rebellion Band
Did you know that in Tinsel Town the people down there
Think that substance is a bore
And if your New Wave group looks good
They'll hurry on back for more
Of leather groups and plastic groups
And groups that look real queer
The Tinsel Town aficionados
Come to see and not to hear
But then again this system works
As perfect as a dream
It works for all of those record company pricks
Who come to skim the cream
From the cesspools of excitement
Where Jim Morrison once stood
It's the Tinsel Town Rebellion
From downtown Hollywood

Is everybody happy?
Oh, never mind!
No problem

Why not come over?
You'll meet my mother
You'll meet my sister
You'll like my brother
Really you will . . .

Then she said,
I'm learning English
I can say "thank you"
I think I like you
Do you like my band-aid?
I hope you do . . .

Oh, oh, oh
I am not busy
I'm free to travel
Where are you going?
Maybe you'll take me
I hope you do . . .

Oh, she asked me
Do you know Vinnie?
He used to like me
I speak good English
I'm bathing with Peter
Pick me, I'm clean . . .

Vinnie goes bare-back
Peter goes wet-back
Denny goes way back
Eddie should get back
Pick me I'm clean . . .

Oh yeah, pick me I'm clean
Oh yeah, check out my band-aid
Oh yeah, pick me I'm clean
Oh yeah, check out my band-aid
Oh yeah, pick me I'm clean
Oh yeah, check out my band-aid
Oh yeah, pick me I'm clean
Oh yeah . . .

Why not come over?
You'll meet my mother
You'll meet my sister
You'll like my brother
Really you will . . .

I'm learning English
I can say "thank you"
I think I like you
Do you like my band-aid?
I hope you do . . .

I am not busy
I'm free to travel
Where are you going?
Maybe you'll take me
I hope you do . . .

Do you know Vinnie?
He used to like me
I speak good English
I'm bathing with Peter
Pick me, I'm clean . . .

Bamboozled by love,
Oh lord, the shit done hit the fan
Bamboozled by love
Oh lord, the shit done hit the fan
The way that girl been carryin' on
I swear I just don't understand
Don't you know I treat her nice and kind
The way no other lover can
Now don't you know I treat her nice and kind
The way no other lover can
I came home the other day and she was
Suckin' off some other man

I ain't the type for beggin'
I ain't the type to plead
If she don't change those evil ways
I'm gonna make her bleed
She can scream and she can holler
Bang her head all along the wall
If she don't give me what I want
She ain't gonna have no head at all

Bamboozled by love
I said she fooled around too long
Bamboozled by love
I said she fooled around too long
Now I am mad and gettin' meaner
I am here and she is gone
And the reason you have not seen her
She is underneath the lawn
I know she's underneath the lawn, lawn, lawn

Now look I ain't the type for beggin'
Now I ain't the type to plead
If she don't change those evil ways
I'm gonna make her bleed
She can scream and she can holler
Bang her head all along the wall
If she don't give me what I want
She gonna have no head at all

Bamboozled by love
I said she fooled around too long
Bamboozled by love, oh lord
I said she fooled around too long
Now I am mad and gettin' meaner, meaner
I am here and she is gone
And the reason you have not seen her, seen her
Is she is underneath the lawn

Brown shoes don't make it
Brown shoes don't make it
Quit school, why fake it
Brown shoes don't make it
TV dinner by the pool
Watch your brother grow a beard
Got another year of school
You're okay, he's too weird
Be a plumber
He's a bummer
He's a bummer every summer
Be a loyal plastic robot
For a world that doesn't care
That's right
Smile at every ugly
Shine on your shoes and cut your hair

Be a jerk—go to work
Be a jerk—go to work
Be a jerk—go to work
Be a jerk—go to work

Do your job, and do it right
Life's a ball
TV tonight
Do you love it
Do you hate it
There it is
The way you made it

A world of secret hungers
Perverting the men who make your laws
Every desire is hidden away
In a drawer in a desk by a Naugahyde chair
On a rug where they walk and drool
Past the girls in the office

Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche . . .

We see in the back
Of the City Hall mind
The dream of a girl about thirteen
Off with her clothes and into a bed
Where she tickles his fancy
All night long

His wife's attending an orchid show
She squealed for a week to get him to go
But back in the bed his teen-age queen
Is rocking and rolling and acting obscene
Baby baby . . .
Baby baby . . .

Gimme them cakes now, uh!
If I do, I'm gonna lose my . . .

And he loves it, he loves it
It curls up his toes
She wipes his fat neck
And it lights up his nose
But he cannot be fooled
Old City Hall Fred
She's nasty, she's nasty
She digs it in bed
That's right

Do it again, ha
And do it some more
Hey, that does it, by golly
And she's nasty for sure
Nasty nasty nasty
Nasty nasty nasty
Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty
She's a dirty young mind, corrupted
Corroded
Well she's thirteen today
And I hear she gets loaded

If she were my daughter, I'd . . .
What would you do, Frankie?
Well, if she were my daughter, I'd . . .
What would you do, Frankie?
If she were my daughter, I'd . . .
What would you do, Frankie?
Check this out
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again, oh baby
Smother that girl in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again
She's my teen-age baby
She turns me on
I'd like to make her do a nasty
On the White House lawn
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
And boogie 'til the cows come home

Time to go home
Madge is on the phone
Gotta meet the Gurneys and a dozen grey attorneys
TV dinner by the pool
I'm so glad I finished school
Life is such a ball
I run the world from City Hall

FZ: Let's hear it for another great Italian, Conlon Nancarrow, ladies and gentlemen. Let's hear it for another great Italian, ladies and gentlemen, Warren Cuccurullo—work out, Warren. Let's hear it for another great Italian, Al Di Meola, ladies and gentlemen. Let's hear it for another great Italian, Alvin Lee, ladies and gentlemen . . . Vinnie, Butzis, Vinnie's girlfriend, Butzis' girlfriend, Patty, Denny, uh, Marty . . . forget your name, even though you've been in the crew for a while . . . David, Ike . . .

Ed: I'm flippin' out.

Ike: I'll flip you to see who gets the room tonight.

FZ: Ed, another Vinnie, Arthur, Al Di Meola, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks for coming to the show, hope you enjoyed it. On behalf of Alvin Lee, see you next time.