200 Motels Shooting Script

9 SCENE 1 Opening film. TK SEQUENCE 1 The music is from the Overture (Book 1 Bars 1 - 26) Titles superimposed optically later.
10 SCENE 2 2 mins (approx) Camera 1; H Camera 2; E Camera 3; C Camera 4; C (behind grand pianos) The Chorus are in ragged prisoner garb, and are seated at the chow- benches (C) and throughout the action look on expectantly. The Orchestra are dressed in dirty white tie and tails. The seven percussion players are dressed as Prison Guards. The Narrator appears as General Something. No towers. Boom Near Newt Ranch. GEORGE (from the Group) is conducting. OVERTURE Bars 1 - 26 1. Cam. 1 / CU CONDUCTOR 2. Cam. 2 / CU BASS TROMBONE 3. Cam. 4 / CU TRIANGLE 4. Mix Cam. 2 / CU BASS TROMBONE SLOW ZOOM OUT 5. Cam. 4 / CU HARP
11 SCENE 2 (Cont) 6. Mix Cam. 1 / CU FLUTE 7. Mix Cam. 4 / CU HARP 8. Cam. 1 / CU CYMBALS ZOOM OUT 9. Mix Cam. 4 / CU CHORUS (C) 10. Cam. 1 / CU DRUM 11. Mix Cam. 4 / CU CHORUS 12. Mix Cam. 3 / CU TENORS 13. Mix Cam. 4 / CU SOPRANOS 14. Cam. 3 / NARRATOR CU NARRATOR (B) "Ladies and Gentlemen ... 15. Cam. 2 / CU CASTANETS 16. Cam. 3 / "The true story of ... CU NARRATOR 17. Mix Cam. 4 / "Two hundred motels ... CU CHORUS 18. Cam. 3 / "Two hundred motels ... CU NARRATOR
12 SCENE 2 (cont) 19. Cam. 2 / CU SLAPSTICK 20. Cam. 3 / NARRATOR CU NARRATOR "Life on the road ... 21. Cam. 2 / CU CYMBALS 22. Cam. 3 / CU NARRATOR He waves at camera. Very rapid track back zoom out and crane up. 23. Mix Cam. 4 / LOW WIDE ANGLE into lights. Zoom out from light to reveal DWARF descending (dressed like Frank). LARRY THE DWARF (He is being lowered on a wire) is descending into the concentration camp (B) clutching a large Aladdin- style lamp. 24. Super Cam. 2 / CU RATCHET 25. Super Cam. 1 / CU TRUMPETS 26. Super Cam. 2 / CU COW BELL 27. Cam. 4 / ZOOM OUT from DWARF. NARRATOR appears fore- ground right. "Ladies 'n Gentlemen! Here he is!
13 SCENE 2 (Cont) 28. Cam. 3 / CU CHORUS (Gasp) 29. Cam. 4 / Larry the Dwarf! CU NARRATOR 30. Cam. 3 / (Wild applause) CU CHORUS MUSIC ENDS
14 SCENE 3 2 mins Camera 1; C Camera 2; top end of M Camera 3; B Camera 4; E Orchestra mute, but in background throughout. Strike Chorus and Chow tables. No towers. Low key lighting on B. Boom near Newt Ranch, between camera 1 and 3. Seated next to the Orchestral Harpist is Mick Jagger, dressed as a Nun, sitting with a fake harp. 1. Cam. 3 / CU LARRY ZOOM OUT to 2 shot. LARRY is undoing his harness, NARRATOR foreground, left. He walks over to the Narrator's desk. As he comes, the NARRATOR produces a little sign which says, 'Larry the Dwarf' and places it on his desk. 2. Cam. 1 / NARRATOR (Aside) CU NARRATOR to camera. Larry likes to dress up funny. Tonight he is dressed up like Frank Zappa. Let's ask him what's his deal. 3. Cam. 2 / NARRATOR 2 shot. Hi Larry! It's really great to have you back on our panel! 4. Cam. 3 / LARRY CU LARRY It's really great to be back on your panel, Dave.
15 SCENE 3 (Cont) 5. Cam. 1 / NARRATOR 2 shot. I'm sure the people at home want to know why such a little dwarf as you is all dressed up like Frank Zappa. Tell me, Larry... What's the deal? 6. Cam. 2 / LARRY CU LARRY He made me do it, Dave. He's such a creep. He's making me hold ... 7. Cam. 3 / this Aladdin. CU LAMP 8. Cam. 2 / NARRATOR CU NARRATOR Why is he making you do that, Larry? 9. Cam. 1 / LARRY CU LARRY He wants me to fuck the girl with the harp. 10. Cam. 4 / CU MICK JAGGER Jagger, dressed as a Nun, is sitting next to the orchestral harpist, with a fake harp. 11. Cam. 2 / NARRATOR CU NARRATOR He wants YOU to fuck the girl with the harp? 12. Cam. 1 / LARRY CU LARRY No, with the magic lamp. He wants me to stuff it up her and rub it. 13. Cam. 2 / NARRATOR CU NARRATOR Let's ask our studio audience.
16 SCENE 3 (Cont) 14. Cam. 3 / NARRATOR CU NARRATOR If you'd just been lowered down here on TV by a wire connected ZOOM OUT to reveal all. to a brown leather harness, forced by a crazy person to insert a mysterious imported lamp into the reproductive orifice of a lady harpist and you were a dwarf ... would you do it? 15. Cam. 1 / (WILD ENTHUSIASTIC CHEERS) FULL SHOT ORCHESTRA 16. Cam. 3 / NARRATOR CU NARRATOR "Let's spin The Big Wheel, ZOOM OUT. Larry!" "THE BIG WHEEL" is wheeled in, through the Concentration Camp Gates and stops behind the NARRATOR's desk. "Go ahead. Give it a whirl. Whirl The Big Wheel". LARRY has to jump up to spin it. He gives it a powerful spin ... it looks as if it will never stop. ZOOM INTO Wheel: FRANK (voice over) What our studio audience doesn't know is that the reason Larry the Dwarf is doing all this stuff is because it's ... 17. Super TK (16 mm) / ... all part of the score to 200 Benchwork film of MOTELS. Every word, every 200 Motels score pages, action. The lamp. The repro- doctored. Sound continues. ductive orifice. It's all in the from before. score so he has to do it. This whole event is a fantasy that (The Sequence 2) occurred touring on the road. Touring can make you crazy, ladies and gentelmen. That is precisely what 200 MOTELS is all about. 18. Mix to Cam. 4 / CU MOTHERS setting up equipment on F.
17 SCENE 4 2½ mins. Orchestra play throughout in background "Touring Can Make You Crazy". Book 1, bars 37-76. Area A lit in red/yellow light to suggest camp-fire. Area F backlit. Action takes place in F and I. The Dancers are now dressed in semi-mod plastic raincoated street clothes. The Chorus are standing near the Conductor. Towers, chow tables, barbed-wire in. Front of groupies' house struck. Camera 1; in Area G Camera 3; in front of I Camera 2;) in Area E Camera 4;) (Camera 4 between 2 and 4) 1. Cam. 1. 2. 3. 4. / The MOTHERS are setting up their equipment. Bars 37-54 as directed. 2. Mix to Cam. 4 / CU ZAPPA ZAPPA is looking around the set from the Group's stage (F) He sees. 3. Cam. 1 / WA ZOOM past ZAPPA to GROUPIES' room. LUCY, JANET, PAM looking expectantly. 4. Cam. 3 / CU GROUPIES The GROUPIES.
18 SCENE 4 (Cont) 5. Cam. 1 / WA ZOOM PAST ZAPPA towards ORCHESTRA. He sees the ORCHESTRA and LARRY, still spinning his wheel (Area D) 6. Super Cam. 2 / CU HARPSICHORDIST'S FINGERS 7. WA Cam. 1 / ZAPPA foreground right. The DANCERS sift from A to H. He sees the DANCERS now approach- ing the group stage (Area H). They are all carrying instamatic cameras. 8. Mix to Cam. 3 / CU DANCERS The DANCERS look longingly at ZAPPA. 9. Mix to Cam. 4 / CU GROUPIES So do the GROUPIES. 10. Mix to Cam. 3 / CU ZAPPA ZOOM IN ZAPPA looks totally disinterested.
19 SCENE 5 3½ mins. Camera 1: Area G Camera 3: Area G Camera 4: Area E Camera 2: Area E (nearest wall) Orchestra play throughout, with only their stand lights ablaze - MUSIC - "What's the name of your Group". Orchestra, Chorus. The Dancers are crowing round group stage (in front of the Groupies' house) as before, equipped with instamatic cameras. The Soprano has a Polaroid camera. The Chorus is standing near the Conductor. A Soprano soloist stands in their midst trying to interview Zappa. She is wearing the most elaborate of mod street clothes - the latest plastic bag, belt, etc. Front of Groupies' House set in. 2 rows of theatre seats only. PROPS A life-size dummy, dressed as Zappa, with enormous rubber hands. Boom in between 1 and 3. 1. Cam. 1 / MCU SOPRANO ZOOM IN over ZAPPA's shoulder. (bar 3) She takes a photograph, and then sings. SOPRANO (sings) "I don't know very much about you ... I'm new at this you see. 2. Super Cam. 3 / SOPRANO PROFILE ZAPPA "We just come to do an Keep to right of screen. interview ... interview. 3. Cam. 2 / SOPRANO MCU SOPRANO "I'll just get out my little notebook and pen.
20 SCENE 5 (Cont) 4. Cam. 4 / MCU SOPRANO She rummages through her purse and pulls out a wretched cassette recorder, and tries to start it. (Bar 17) It does not work. She turns to ZAPPA and says: 5. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO I always have trouble working my tape recorder because I'm not very mechanical ... 6. Cam. 2 / CU PERCUSSION 7. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO I can never get it to work when (Bar 21) I want it, which is why I got my notebook with me here. 8. Cam. 2 / CU PERCUSSION 9. Cam. 4 / CU SOPRANO'S HAND ripping a page out of little spiral notebook. 10. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO (singing) CU SOPRANO Rapid ZOOM OUT to Why don't you tell me how FULL SHOT SOPRANO you're feeling about the world and DANCERS. today. 11. Cam. 3 / SOPRANO MCU ZAPPA ZOOM IN By the way what do you call your group ... call your group? 12. Intercutting SOPRANO and between Cam. 1 DANCERS are and Cam. 2 as shooting giant directed. barrage of flash- bulbs.
21 SCENE 5 (Cont) 13. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO's camera as she shoots another bulb. 14. Cam. 2 / WA DANCERS as they pull Polaroid tabs. 15. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO (singing) CU SOPRANO What the heck do you call your group? 16. Cam. 3 / CU ZAPPA'S FACE staring blankly. POSTRECORD ALSO 17. Super Cam. 4 / CU SOPRANO'S HANDS pulling tab on Polaroid camera. She turns to ZAPPA. 18. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO SINGING ZOOM OUT TO MS as I bet it's something freaky and SOPRANO gestures obscene ... an outasite yeah! towards DANCERS. I bet whatever the name of your group is that it's ... 19. Mix to Cam. 3 / CHORUS (singing) MS CHORUS Real far out an' groovy! 20. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO (spoken) CU SOPRANO I bet your group is real weird 'cause you look weird your- self ... 21. Cam. 4 / ... so many groups got such CU ZAPPA weird names today, it's so grinning. hard to catch up on it ... 22. Cam. 2 / WA DANCERS shooting short blast of flashbulbs.
22 SCENE 5 (Cont) 23. Mix to Cam. 3 / SOPRANO (spoken) CU ZAPPA You don't mind if we get some pictures, do you? 24. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO (spoken) WA DANCERS We got all kinds of cameras and ZOOM into SOPRANO. bulbs and wide angle lenses to make you look ... 25. Mix to Cam. 2 / CU WOODWINDS 26. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO ... just like a depraved troll, or something of that nature ... make you look real weird and far fuckin' out! 27. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO CU GROTESQUE LENS as SOPRANO adjusts it. (bar 54) I'll just stick this lens on here and fix it so you look like a creep. POSTRECORD 28. Cam. 1 / CAPTION CU ZAPPA distorted. 29. Mix to Cam. 3 / SOPRANO CU CAPTION OF "ECSTASY FACE" The kids who read our rock and MAGAZINE roll newspaper like to see famous musicians who look far out and groovy! 30. Cam. 3 / BARITONES & BASSES (singing) DANCERS (Lip Syncing) Real far out Far-fuckin' out Far-fuckin' out 'n groovy.
23 SCENE 5 (Cont) 31. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO (singing) CU SOPRANO I'll get this hot and then I'll get my book and ask a bunch more fascinating stuff. 32. Super Cam. 2 / CU HORN 33. Mix Cam. 3 / CHORUS (singing) ZOOM IN & PAN RIGHT ROUND DANCERS. When is your next L.P. to be (Lip Syncing) released, and how long have you been growing; how long have you been growing your hair? Have you been to England yet, and how do they like your music over there? How do they like it? 34. Super Cam. 1 / SOPRANO (singing) CU SOPRANO How do they like it? Lose Super CHORUS (singing) How do they like it? How do they like your music over there ... over there 35. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO (spoken) CU SOPRANO I bet the first time you went over there it was really exciting and heavy and far-fuckin' out ... I bet it was groovy vibes over there ... so European! 36. Mix to Cam. 3 / CU FRANK FRANK gets up from chair and walks away from SOPRANO.
24 SCENE 5 (Cont) 37. Super Cam. 1 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO I can just imagine you and your little group ... going all over Europe ... Paris ... Rome ... Essen ... even the Vienna Woods! 38. Mix Cam. 4 / CU ENGLISH HORN PLAYER 39. Cam. 3 / MS FRANK. FRANK returns to chair and places dummy on it. The dummy has enormous rubber hands. 40. Mix Cam. 4 / CU PICCOLO PLAYER ZOOM OUT FULL SHOT WINDS and PERCUSSION. NOTE: 1. Post-Record shots 16 and 17. 2. Post-Record shots 28 and 29.
25 SCENE 6 30 secs Camera 3; in Area A, looking towards H Camera 4; in Area D Camera 1; in top end of Area M Camera 2; in Area 5 (parallel with Groupies' House) Boom next to Camera 2. Soprano is wearing the most elaborate of mod street clothes - the latest plastic bag, belt, etc. The Dancers (semi-mod) are standing around amazed. Fences, stage side only, set in. 1. Cam. 4 / Repeat last note of music. CU CONDUCTOR (RANCE MUHAMMITZ) 2. Cam. 3 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO Wait a minute ... I just want to verify a rumour I heard. (to dummy) Is it true that in the Autumn of 1968, you and a bunch of other little rock n' roll musicians actually held a secret rehearsal with members of the BBC Symphony ... 3. SUPER TK PUB REHEARSAL SEQUENCE / in the back room of an exotic (The Sequence 3) Old English pub out on Seven Sisters Road, and there, unbe- knownst to the outside world at large did proceed to illicitly manufacture a semi pornographic situation comedy Rock & Roll stage show based on all the reasons why everybody wants to quit your group ... whatever you call it. 4. Intercut with Cam. 2 as directed / 5. Cam. 1 / CU ZAPPA who is standing in front of orchestra. He shrugs.
27 SCENE 8 30 secs. Camera 3; In Area A looking at percussion. Camera 1; In top end of Area M. Camera 2; In Area H (Parallel with Groupies house) Camera 4; In Area D Orchestra (percussion section only) Bars 88 - 95a. "What's the name of your Group" Towers not necessary. 1. Last 30 secs. of TK PUB REHEARSAL SEQUENCE (The SEQ. 3) (Music plays under TK) SUPER 2. Cam. 3 / CU PERCUSSION 3. Cam. 2 / CU RUTH (AREA E) 4. Cam. 1 / CU PERCUSSION 5. Cam. 4 / CU RUTH
28 SCENE 9 30 secs. Camera 3; in Area A looking at Percussion Camera 1; in top of Area M Camera 2; in Area H Camera 4; in Area H (parallel with Groupies house) No Towers. Dancers (semi-mod) are listening in to Soprano's questions. 1. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO (To Dummy) 2 SHOT RUTH & CONDUCTOR Isn't it true that you (RANCE MUHAMMITZ) put this show together against all known laws of man and nature (including costumes) in three days, except for the music you wrote. 2. SUPER TK (VIENNA SEQUENCE) / (The Sequence 4) in some moderately extravagant Viennese Hotel? The same hotel where you made some questionable 16 mm movies of your wife and an unidentified foot? 3. Cam. 2 / CU ZAPPA in front of Orchestra. He shrugs.
30 SCENE 11 45 secs. Camera 1; in Area B (sideways) Camera 2; in Area E) ) All pointed towards Orchestra Camera 4; in Area D) Camera 3; in Area H watching FRANK Orchestra (without the strings) bars 96 - 116a Full lighting No Fences Dancers (semi-mod) are still looking on, amazed. 1. Cam. 3 / MS FRANK FRANK removes mustache and goatee from DUMMY 2. Cam. 2 / CU SIDE DRUM 3. Super Cam. 3 / FRANK pastes goatee on SOPRANO. He then pastes the mustache on SOPRANO. 4. Cam. 1 / CU SIDE DRUM 5. Cam. 2 / CU RUTH 6. Cam. 3 / CU SOPRANO She looks blankly at CAMERA 7. Mix to Cam. 4 / 8. Cam. 3 / MS FRANK He lifts the DUMMY from the chair. 9. Super Cam. 3 / CU RUTH
31 SCENE 11 (Cont) 45 secs. 10. Mix to Cam. 2 / CU BASS TROMBONE 11. Mix to Cam. 1 / CU CONTRA BASSOON 12. Mix to Cam. 4 / CU BASS TROMBONE
32 SCENE 12 15 secs. Camera 3; in Area H Camera 1; in top of Area M Camera 2; in Area H Camera 4; in Area H (parallel with Groupies House) G HERBIE & ZAPPA are standing at the top of M. Dancers (semi-mod) continue to be amazed. 1. Cam. 3 / MS FRANK FRANK hands the DUMMY off the stage to SOPRANO. She hands it to a couple of DANCERS who support it while she continues to interview it. 2. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO (To Dummy) CU RUTH It has also been rumoured that you persisted in mounting your silly little production, even against the best judgement of ... 3. Cam. 1 / HERBIE CU HERBIE He smiles Herbie Cohen ... 4. Cam. 2 / SOPRANO CU RUTH ... having the audacity to perform it twice in one night at the very Royal Festival Hall itself! Welch MELODY MAKER review. 5. Cam. 1 / CU ZAPPA He shrugs
34 SCENE 14 Camera 1; in Area C ) Pointing at Orchestra Camera 2; in Area E ) Camera 3; in Area H ) These start by following dancers; Camera 4; in Area H ) Then move to Orchestra. Full Orchestra (bar 117) Pianos on Conductor's left. The Dancers (semi-mod) cue thrown the Dummy by Frank and do their own interviews with it. Intercutting as directed. 1. Cam. 4 / CU DANCERS 2. Cam. 3 / CU DUMMY 3. Cam. 4 / CU 4. Cam. 3 / CU 5. Cam. 4 / CU 6. Cam. 3 / CU 7. Cam. 4 / CU 8. Mix to inlay of Cam. 2 / CU PICCOLO 9. Mix to Cam. 3 / CU SAXES 10. Mix to Cam. 4 / CU RUTH
35 SCENE 14 (Cont) 11. Mix to Cam. 1 / CU CLARINET 12. Mix to Cam. 3 / CU FLUTES 13. Cam. 4 / CU TRUMPET (Cam. 4 goes back to DANCERS) 14. Mix to Cam. 3 / CU BASS FLUTE 15. Cam. 2 / CU IAN 16. Cam. 3 / CU SAXES 17. Mix to Cam. 4 / MS DANCERS Several dancers are struggling over the DUMMY, and accidentally rip the top of the head off. 18. Cam. 3 / CU CYMBALS 19. Cam. 2 / CU TRUMPETS 20 Cam. 1 / HIGH WA PIANOS ZOOM IN FAST. 21 Cam. 4 / MS DUMMY ZOOM IN We see that some of the stuffing is hanging out of the DUMMY.
36 SCENE 15 2 mins. Camera 1; in E pointing towards Group Stage / Orchestra Camera 2; in G pointing towards Group Stage Camera 3; in D pointing towards Group Stage / Orchestra Camera 4; in H pointing towards Group Stage Boom at side of Camera 4 Orchestra Group in background still setting up their equipment. Soprano, Dancers. They are crowding round Group Stage dressed in mod street clothes. Chorus are standing by the Conductor. Zappa has gone Set in 2 rows of seats in Area H. 1. Cam. 1 / HIGH WA DANCERS The DANCERS gather in a circle to get more pictures. 2. Cam. 3 / CU DUMMY 3. Mix to Cam. 4 / WA DANCERS The DANCERS are still clustered round the stage, popping off their flash bulbs. 4. Cam. 2 / CU SOPRANO She forces her way into the circle and squats near the rumpled DUMMY.
37 SCENE 15 (Cont) 5. Cam. 1 / SOPRANO (singing) CU SOPRANO I don't know much about your stuff, I been a little busy. 6. Cam. 4 / CU SOPRANO This won't take long 7. Cam. 1 / CU SOPRANO Just a few questions 8. Cam. 2 / This won't take long. VBCU SOPRANO'S MOUTH Just a few questions. 9. Super Cam. 4 / CU CAMERA FLASHES 10. Cam. 3 / MS SOPRANO She is fumbling with the head of the DUMMY. The DANCERS leave the Stage Area. 11. Cam. 2 / CU SMALL CYMBAL 12. Cam. 1 / CU TRIANGLE 13. Cam. 2 / CU SMALL CYMBAL 14. Super Cam. 3 / SOPRANO (singing) CU SOPRANO'S MOUTH This won't take long just a few questions just a few questions - 15. Cam. 1 / CU FIELD DRUM ZOOM OUT
38 SCENE 15 (Cont) 16. Super Cam. 4 / CU TRUMPET 17. Cam. 3 / CU PIANIST'S HANDS 18. Cam. 2 / CU GONG. ZOOM IN & DE-FOCUS 19. Cam. 4 / DE-FOCUSED FOCUS UP to see AREAS H & G DESERTED. 20. Cam. 3 / SOPRANO (singing) WA DESERTED AREA This won't take long ZOOM INTO DUMMY This won't take long This won't take long The DANCERS are gone. This won't take long The SOPRANO sits next This won't take long to the DUMMY. This won't take long
39 SCENE 16 "CAN I HELP YOU WITH THIS DUMMY" Orchestra. Soprano. Rance. The deserted area in front of F. Camera 1; in E ) Camera 2; in G ) Pointing towards H. Camera 3; in D ) Camera 4; in L ) MUSIC STARTS 1. Cam. 1 / LOW W. A. SOPRANO in foreground. RANCE walks towards her. RANCE (singing) Can I ... Ahem! ... 2. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO Oh, you startled me. She rubs herself with the dummy's big hands. Mmmmm ... Mmmmm ... 3. Cam. 1 / RANCE CU RANCE Can I ... help you with this dummy? 4. Cam. 3 / CU DUMMY 5. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO (singing) CU SOPRANO He's not very Very ... heavy Ha ha ha ha ha ha 6. Cam. 3 / Ha! CU DUMMY She pulls off his goatee beard.
40 SCENE 16 (Cont) 7. Cam. 2 / 2 SHOT DUMMY & SOPRANO Ha! Just look at this! She pulls dummy hand out of blouse. 8. Cam. 4 / CU DUMMY Holds up dummy arm and shakes it. 9. Cam. 2 / Dummy! 2 SHOT DUMMY SOPRANO 10. Cam. 4 / CU SOPRANO A silly dummy that. This could never be very heavy ... 11. Cam. 1 / RANCE MS RANCE SOPRANO Ho! Ho! Ho! 12. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO She disentangles herself Heh, heh, heh! from the DUMMY. 13. Cam. 1 / RANCE 2 SHOT RANCE & SOPRANO You were performing an unnatural act with that dummy! SOPRANO No! I wasn't really. ZOOM into RANCE RANCE You were getting hot with it ... I saw yer rubbing. Heh! heh! heh! 14. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO What do you ... what sort of a ... why should a person like myself be ... no ... no ... no ...
41 SCENE 16 (Cont) 15. Cam. 3 / RANCE CU RANCE All the way from over there I saw you! 16. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO No! No! No! RANCE You were beating off or some- thing ... you were working up to a beating off. 17. Cam. 2 / RANCE CU RANCE You were rubbing your tits with the deformed head of a dummy! Shame on you! Shame on every one of you. 18. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO No! No! Oh! I'm so ashamed. Yes, oh yes, I'm so terribly ashamed! 19. Cam. 3 / RANCE WA You rock 'n roll interviewers are all alike. Masturbating! SOPRANO Yes, oh yes, you caught me doing it! 20. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO Mostly, I just do it with a typewriter ... 21. Cam. 1 / RANCE CU RANCE Did you get any gratification?
42 SCENE 16 (Cont) 22. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO Lots of great pictures. MUSIC ENDS. ZOOM OUT RANCE We'd better hurry. There's three of the old members of the group waiting in the fake night club. SOPRANO You don't mind if I bring this along too, do you? ... just for atmosphere. 23. Cam. 3 / RANCE CU DUMMY ... or continuity 24. Cam. 1 / MS RANCE & SOPRANO (plus doll) Exit towards night club (T)
43 SCENE 17 5 mins. Camera 1; looking into Area X Camera 2; looking into Area X Camera 3; in Area X Camera 4; in Area X Interior of Night Club:- The Orchestra is playing an instrumental ensemble in the background throughout. Inlaid on a screen hanging above bar (chroma key) is an enormous blow-up of Frank. This is part of Don Preston's light show. Don Preston, Jim Black and Motorhead are seated in the club. 1. Cam. 3 / WA (looking over DON PRESTON'S SHOULDER we see RANCE & SOPRANO enter, dragging DUMMY) 2. Cam. 4 / DON PRESTON 2 SHOT DON & JIMMY CARL Here they come. BLACK JIMMY CARL BLACK Well it's about time. 3. Cam. 1 / MOTORHEAD WA MOTORHEAD Frank looks pretty tired. He musta just done an interview. 4. Cam. 2 / RANCE WA RANCE Hello lads. Shall we begin? RANCE slumps DUMMY into a booth. 5. Cam. 4 / CU DUMMY
44 SCENE 17 (Cont) 6. Cam. 3 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO I should get their names first ... for the big story I'm going to write! 7. Cam. 2 / DON PRESTON CU DON PRESTON I'm Don Preston, also known as Don De Wilde or Bif Debris, depending on the spiritual evolvement of the role I'm supposed to play. 8. Cam. 1 / JIMMY CARL BLACK CU JIMMY CARL BLACK I'm Jimmy Carl Black, The Indian of the Group ... 9. Cam. 3 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO What group? 10. Cam. 1 / JIMMY CARL BLACK CU JIMMY CARL BLACK Forget it. 11. Cam. 2 / MOTORHEAD CU MOTORHEAD I'm Euclid James Motorhead Sherwood. I came in last in the Baritone Sax category of the Down Beat Readers Poll for 1970. 12. Cam. 3 / RANCE CU RANCE Gentlemen. I'm sure you're all aware of the fact that we're in an imaginary town. 13. Cam. 1 / MOTORHEAD 3 SHOT MOTORHEAD, DON, I could tell JIMMY CARL BLACK right away.
45 SCENE 17 (Cont) 14. Cam. 4 / DON PRESTON WA DON PRESTON Right ... the vibes. 15. Cam. 3 / RANCE CU RANCE And of course you know that this is a fake night club that doubles as an underground cinema and I'm supposed to own it. 16. Cam. 4 / JIMMY CARL BLACK WA JIMMY CARL BLACK What's your name supposed to be? 17. Cam. 3 / RANCE CU RANCE My real name is Theodore Bikel, but for the movie you shall call me RANCE MUHAMMITZ. 18. Cam. 2 / JIMMY CARL BLACK WA JIMMY CARL BLACK RANCE MUHAMMITZ? That's the stupidest name I ever heard of? 19. Cam. 3 / RANCE CU RANCE You must remember than within the conceptual framework of this film's event, nothing really matters. It is possible for many subjective realities to co-exist, it is possible that all things are a deception of the senses ... 20. Cam. 1 / DON PRESTON 2 SHOT DON PRESTON & The functioning of our senses has RANCE been spiritually impaired and chemically corrupted because of artificial food colouring! We must evolve! We must progress! There must be growth!
46 SCENE 17 (Cont) 21. Cam. 1 / MOTORHEAD WA MOTORHEAD Yeah ... macriobatic food & tie- die shirts! 22. Cam. 1 / JIMMY CARL BLACK CU JIMMY CARL BLACK Listen ... I just wanna know two things ... is there any beer in this fake night club and when do we get paid? 23. Cam. 3 / SOPRANO WA SOPRANO What sort of beer do you drink, Jimmy Carl Black? 24. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO (VOICE OVER) CU SOPRANO This is good human-interest material for the big story I'm going to write! let me rephrase that: what KIND of beer do you drink? 25. Cam. 1 / JIMMY CARL BLACK CU JIMMY CARL BLACK Any old beer I can get my mouth on ... don't make a shit to me ... 26. Cam. 4 / RANCE WA RANCE You'll have to wait a few moments, then you can have all the imaginary beer you want. I was just going to explain some of the things you'll all be doing in the movie. 27. Cam. 2 / DON PRESTON CU DON PRESTON I've been wondering about that. 28. Cam. 4 / WA RANCE Removes a sheaf of rumpled papers and music from a briefcase and puts on some wire- rimmed spectacles
47 SCENE 17 (Cont) 28. Continued RANCE Hmmm ... yes, uh ... for Sherwood we have a vacuum cleaner scheduled and a potential epileptic seizure during a production number later ... 29. Cam. 3 / WA The VACUUM CLEANER dances in. ... I thought you might want to get acquainted ... says in the overall plan here that you two are supposed to be in love ... no ... just good friends. 30. Cam. 4 / WA The VACUUM CLEANER trots over to MOTORHEAD and snorks a greeting. MOTORHEAD snorks back. ZOOM INTO VACUUM CLEANER 31 Cam. 3 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO This abnormal relationship will be great for the big story I'm going to write! 32 Cam. 2 / RANCE MS RANCE reading instructions Mr. Preston will be playing a highly evolved and spiritual role, which means we'll have to call him Bif Debris for the rest of the movie. 33 Cam. 1 / DON/BIF CU DON/BIF What am I supposed to do?
48 SCENE 17 (Cont) 34. Cam. 4 / RANCE WA RANCE It says here that you are my nephew. You are wise because you have travelled the world. You have been to London, Paris & Berlin. You know the ropes. You practise Yoga. You meditate. You play the synthesizer. You operate a fake light show in this imaginary night club. You will be Motorhead's guru, repair the expresso machine when it blows up, and 35. Cam. 2 / CU JIMMY CARL BLACK Jim Black owes you five dollars. 36. Cam. 1 / DON/BIF CU DON/BIF I thought I was going to get a chance to act ... to emote ... wear a big cape and a black hat. 37. Cam. 4 / RANCE MS RANCE It says you get to wear a big cape with a black hat and you can transform into a monster whenever you want to. 38. Cam. 3 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO The very presence of a monster person in this imaginary town has a definite bearing on the news value of the TV Special they will make from the big story I'm going to write. 39. Cam. 1 / JIMMY CARL BLACK CU JIMMY CARL BLACK Listen ... I just wanna know one thing ... when do we get paid? 40. Cam. 4 / RANCE CU RANCE Don't you even care what you do?
49 SCENE 17 (Cont) 41. Cam. 1 / JIMMY CARL BLACK CU JIMMY CARL BLACK So long as I get some beer and I get paid, you can make me do anything ... I'M PROFESSIONAL! 42. Cam. 4 / RANCE (to JIMMY CARL BLACK) CU RANCE None of this seems weird to you? 43. Cam. 3 / JIMMY CARL BLACK WA JIMMY CARL BLACK Look here, MUHAMMITZ or whatever the fuck they call you. I don't even give a shit ... I've got five fuckin' kids at home an' ... can she lend me a coupla dollars till the end of the week? Who are you anyway? 44. Cam. 4 / RANCE WA RANCE This is Leslie, my niece ... she writes for an imaginary Rock & Roll newspaper in San Francisco ... 45. Cam. 1 / JIMMY CARL BLACK CU JIMMY CARL BLACk ... just till the weekend? 46. Cam. 2 / DON/BIF CU DON/BIF Here, Indian ... says I'm supposed to lend you five dollars so you can owe it to me ... wait a minute ... 47. Cam. 4 / (to MOTORHEAD) CU DON You got any bread? 48. Cam. 3 / MOTORHEAD (to VACUUM WA MOTORHEAD CLEANER) Over MOTORHEAD's shoulder You got any bread?
50 SCENE 17 (Cont) 48. Continued The VACUUM CLEANER just sits there like it doesn't understand ... MOTORHEAD snorks to it a couple of times ... it understands, reaches its hand into the end of its hose, stops for a moment, dances over to the SOPRANO and snorks a few times. 49. Cam. 4 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO What's he saying? to Motorhead: What's he saying? 50. Cam. 1 / MOTORHEAD CU MOTORHEAD He want's to know if you can lend him a coupla bucks till the weekend. 51 Cam. 4 / SOPRANO CU SOPRANO I have to go now and write my big story I'm going to write. I'll send you a copy when I'm finished writing it ... you have any idea where you'll be in six months? She EXITS. 52 Cam. 1 / JIMMY CARL BLACK (whispering CU JIMMY CARL BLACK to RANCE) She fuck?
[>> SCENES 18-28]


Special thanks to Charles Ulrich (scans) and Chayne Quinn (typing!).