Beat The Boots I: Saarbrücken 1978

FZ: The name of this song is Dancin' Fool. One Two Three Four

I don't know much about dancin'
That's why I got this song
One of my legs is shorter than the other
'N both my feet's too long
'F course now I ride along with 'em
I got no natural rhythm
But I go dancin' every night
Hopin' one day I might get it right
I'm a dancin' fool, I'm a
Dancin' fool
[etc.]

I hear that beat; I jump outa my seat,
But I can't compete, 'cause I'm a
Dancin' fool, I'm a
Dancin' fool

The disco folks all dressed up
Like they's fit to kill
I walk on in 'n see 'em there
Gonna give them all a thrill
When they see me comin'
They all steps aside
They has a fit while I commit
My social suicide, I'm a
Dancin' fool, I'm a
Dancin' fool
[etc.]

The beat goes on and I'm so wrong [6x]
I may be totally wrong but I'm a
Dancin' fool
I may be totally wrong but I'm a
Dancin' fool

Yowsa, yowsa, yowsa

I got it all together now
With my very own disco clothes, hey!
My shirt's half open, t'show you my chains
And the spoon for up my nose
I am really somethin'
That's what you'd prob'ly say
So smoke your little smoke
Drink your little drink
While I dance the night away, I'm a
Dancin' fool, I'm a
Dancin' fool,
[etc.]

He's a dancing fool
I may be totally wrong but I'm a
I may be totally wrong but I'm a
I may be totally wrong but I'm a
FOOL-uh!

Say, darlin . . . can I buy ya a drinks?
Hihihahahaaa
Wait a minute . . . I've got it . . . You're an Italian!
Hah?
Yer Jewish?
Oh, love your nails . . . you must be a Libra . . .
Your place or mine?

This girl is easy meat
I seen her on the street
See-through blouse an' a tiny little dress
Her manner indiscreet . . . I knew she was
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy
Easy, easy
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat

She wanna take me home
Make me sweat and moan
Rub my head and beat me off
With a copy of Rollin' Stone I knew she was
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy
Easy, easy
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat

I told her I was late
I had another date
I can't get off on the Rollin' Stone
But the robots think it's great . . . Hey I knew she was
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy
Easy, easy
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat

Easy
Easy
Easy
Meat

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me

He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe)
His fav'rite phrase was 'OUTA-SITE!'
He had an Irish Setter

It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night
The moon was dim, the band was tight
They did the Bump together

What a splendid sight
Her teeth were white
The drinks were cheap
(it was Ladies Nite)
He was glad that he met her

She was an office girl
(her name is Betty)
Her fav'rite group was
HELEN REDDY
(They discussed the weather)

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Ma-a-a-a-a-an

She was a lonely sort, just a little too short
Her jokes were dumb and her fav'rite sport
Was hockey (in the winter)
Zzzzzzhhhhh, he's down, I sss, oww

He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
Any sport with a PUCK had to be 'bout the best
As he jabbed his elbow in her

Later on they went off to where the music was soft,
The candles were drippy, they saw a REAL HIPPY
Who delivered their dinner

The rice was brown, and soon they found
That the crowd around that had jammed the room,
Well it seemed to be getting thinner

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Ma-a-a-a-a-an

He took her home to a motor court
She would not kiss him, he tried to ignore it,
But it made him angry!
Made me angry, made me so angry
I could've killed that lousy bitch

He called her a slut, slut slut slut
A pig and a whore, whore, whore whore
A bitch bitch bitch bitch
And a cunt and she slammed the door the door
In a petulant frenzy!
A petulant frenzy, this is a petulant frenzy Yooo
I'm petulant, and I'm havin' a frenzy

On the sofa she weeps
BOO HOO HOO HOO
She weeps and she weeps
MOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO
She weeps and she peeps
Through the curtain

He just got in his car
But the battery's dead
So he has to use the phone
And she gives him some head
And that's the end of the story

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Ma-a-a-a-a-an
Baby don't you want a man sometime?

Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy

Roll it over 'n grease it down
I'll drive you through the heart of town
[repeat]

Hey, the good women, they sure has it tough
The good men, well there just ain't enough
All the good girls are lookin' all the time
Good men is something that they can't find
Cause if they find one miraculously
They try to be lovin' as they can be
Cause if they find one and let him go
Chances are they might not ever find one no mo' so they
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy

Roll it over 'n grease it down
I'll drive you through the heart of town

A good lovin' man is hardest to find
A good woman needs to ease her mind
And I know a few that need to ease it behind
All y'gotta do is grease it down 'n everything is fine
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy

Roll it over 'n grease it down
I'll drive you through the heart of town

A girl don't need
No fancy grease
To get herself
Some rump release
Any kind
Of lube will do
Maybe from another
Part of you
Lube from the North
Lube from the South
Take a little slobber
From the side of your mouth
Roll it over
Grease it down
Here come that crazy
Screamin' sound . . .

Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey so it'll go down easy
Roll it over 'n grease it down, down, down, dohowhowin
Grease it down . . .
Ah, Grease It dohowhowin

Goin' back home
To the Village of the Sun
Out in back of Palmdale
Where the turkey farmers run,

I done
Made up my mind
And I know I'm wanna go to Sun
Village,Good God
I hope the wind don't blow-ow

It'll take the paint of your car
And wreck your windshield too
I don't know how the people stand it
But I guess they do
Cause they're all still there
(Even Johnny Franklin too)
In the Village of the Sun
Village of the Sun
Village of the Sun, son,
Sun Village to you
You-hou-hou-hou

Well, little Mary, and Teddy, and Thelma too, now
Where Palmdale Boulevard Owww cuts on through
Past the Village Inn, well, & Barbecue, yea-heah
(I heard it ain't there . . .
Well, I hope it ain't true)

Where the stumblers gonna go
To watch the lights turn blue?
Where the stumblers gonna go
To watch the lights turn
blue-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-wahhh?
[repeat first three verses]

Some take the bible for what's it worth
When it says that the meek shall inherit the Earth
Well I heard that some sheik
Has bought your country last week
And you suckers ain't getting nothing
Is Hare Rama really wrong
If you wander around with a napkin on
With a bell on a stick
And your hair is all gone
The geek shall inherit nothing

You say your life's a bum deal
And you're against the wall
You ain't even got
No deal at all
You know what they do in Washington
They just takes care of number one
And number one ain't you
You ain't even number two

Those Jesus freaks well they're friendly but
The shit they believe
Has got their minds all shut
And they don't even care
When the church takes a cut
Ain't it bleak when you've got so much nothing

Awright Denny,
Why don't you guys sit down so they can see
Go on. We're gonna be here for a while
Sit down

Eat that pork, eat that ham
Laugh till you choke on Billy Graham
Moses, Aaron & Abraham
They're all a waste of time
And it's your ass that's on the line
It's your ass that's on the line

Do what you wanna
Do what you will
Just don't mess up your neighbors thrill
And when you pay the bill
Kindly leave a tip
And help the next poor sucker
On his one way trip
Some take the bible . . .

Aw, gimme about a dozen for the Hotel Room

City of tiny lites
Don't you wanna go
Hear the tiny auto horns
When they tiny blow
Tiny lightnin'
In the storm
Tiny blankets
Keep you warm
Tiny pillows
Tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny sheets
Talkin' bout them tiny cookies
That the peoples eats
City of tiny lites
Well maybe you should know
That it's over there
In the tiny dirt somewhere

You can see it any time
When you get the squints
]From your downers and your wine
You're so big
It's so tiny
Every cloud is silver liney
The great escape for all of you
Tiny is as tiny do
Tiny is as tiny do
Tiny is as tiny do
Tiny is as tiny do

City of tiny lites
Don't you wanna go
Hear the tiny auto horns
When they tiny blow
Tiny lightnin'
In the storm
Tiny blankets
Keep you warm
Tiny pillows
Hey, tiny tiny tiny tiny sheets
Talkin' bout them tiny cookies
That the peoples eats
That the peoples eats
That the peoples eats
That the peoples eats

Over there
And it's over there
And it's over there
It's over there
It's over there

 

Hey there, people, I'm Bobby Brown
They say I'm the cutest boy in town
My car is fast, my teeth is shiny
I tell all the girls they can kiss my heiny
Here I am at a famous school
I'm dressin' sharp 'n I'm
Actin' cool
I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper
Let her do all the work 'n maybe later I'll rape her
Oh God I am the American dream
I do not think I'm too extreme
An' I'm a handsome sonofabitch
I'm gonna get a good job 'n be real rich
Women's liberation
Came creepin' all across the nation
I tell you people, I was not ready
When I fucked this dyke by the name of Freddie
She made a little speech then,
Aw, she tried to make me say when
She had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick
I guess it's still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick

Oh God I am the American dream,
But now I smell like Vaseline
An' I'm a miserable sonofabitch
Am I a boy or a lady . . . I don't know which
I wonder, wonder
Wonder wonder
So I went out 'n bought me a leisure suit
I jingle my change, but I'm still kinda cute
Got a job doin' radio promo
An' none of the jocks can even tell I'm a homo
Eventually me 'n a friend
Sorta drifted along into S&M
I can take about an hour on the tower of power
'Long as I gets a little golden shower

Oh God I am the American Dream
With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream
An' I'll do anything to get ahead
I lay awake nights sayin', "Thank you, Fred"
Oh God, Oh God, I'm so fantastic!
Thanks to Freddie, I'm a sexual spastic
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now; I'm goin' down,
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now; I'm goin' down
[etc. repeat]
Watch me now G.I.'s 'cause the name of this song is
'Conehead'

Conehead
She ain't really dumb
She's just a conehead
Potato chip crumbs
All over her face
Is there any more beer
Stashed away in her place
She's just a conehead
She can't help herself
Conehead

Picture a ring
That is the thing
That's getting her hot
A hoop or a ring
Goin' over the top
Of her conehead
She is from a small town in France
That's what she gives me is
Conehead

When she's on her knees
The point is so high
I keep saying please
Keep it out of my eye
She's just a conehead
Remulak, Remulak, Remulak
I'm coming back
Remulak, Remulak, Remulak
[etc. repeat]

Flakes! Flakes!
Flakes! Flakes!

They don't do no good
They never be workin' when they oughta should
They waste your time
They're wastin' mine
California's got the most of them
Boy, they got a host of them

Swear t'God they got the most
At every business on the coast
Swear t'God they got the most
At every business on the coast
They got the Flakes

Flakes! Flakes!

They can't fix yer brakes
You ask 'em, "Where's my motor?"
"Well it was eaten by snakes . . ."
You can stab 'n shoot 'n spit
But they won't be fixin' it
They're lyin' an' lazy
They can be drivin' you crazy

Swear t'God they got the most
At every business on the coast
Swear t'God they got the most
At every business on the coast
(Take it away, Bob . . .)

I asked just as nice as I could
If my job would
Somehow be finished by Friday
Well, the whole damn weekend came 'n went, Frankie
(Wanna buy some acid, Bob?)
You know what, they didn't do nothin'
But they charged me double for Sunday

Well you know no matter what you do.
They gonna cheat 'n rob you
And then they'll send you a bill
That'll get your senses reelin'
And if you do not pay
They got computer collectors
Cant even find my harp
That'll get you so crazy
'Til your head'll go through th' ceilin'

I'm a moron, 'n this is my wife
She's frosting a cake
With a paper knife
All what we got here's
American made
It's a little bit cheesy,
But it's nicely displayed
Well we don't get excited when it
Crumbles 'n breaks
We just get on the phone
And call up some Flakes
They rush on over
'N wreck it some more
'N we are so dumb
They're linin' up at our door
Well, my toilet went crazy
Yesterday afternoon
The plumber he says
"Never flush a tampoon! "
This great information
Cost me half a week's pay
And the toilet blew up
Later on the next day-ay-eee-ay
Blew up the next day
WOO-OOO

We are millions 'n millions,
We're coming to get you
We're protected by unions
So don't let it upset you
Can't escape the conclusion
It's probably God's will
That civilization
Will grind to a standstill
And we are the people
Who will make it all happen
While yer children is sleepin',
Yer puppy is crappin'
You might call us Flakes
Or something else you might coin us
We know you're so greedy
That you'll probably join us

We're comin to get you, we're comin to get you,
We're comin to get you, we're comin to get you,
We're comin to get you, we're comin to get you,
We're comin to get you, we're comin to get you . . .

Oooh, the way you love me lady
I get so hard now I could die
Oooh, the way you love me sugar
I get so hard now I could die

Open up your pocket book
Get another quarter out
Drop it in the meter mama
Try me on for size
[2X]

Ooh the way you squeeze me baby
Red balloons just pop behind my eyes
Ooh the way you squeeze me, girl
Red balloons just pop behind my eyes

Open up your pocket book
Get another quarter out
Drop it in the meter mama
Try me on for size
[2x]

Oh you got that kind of love that lingers
This here bed's got magic fingers
Been a-rollin' in the bed since the show got out
Now I'm gettin' weak in the knees
Musta did it eighty, ninety times
It might have been a hundred
But you're the kind of girl that I really wanna please
You're the kind of girl that I really wanna please
Oh no
Do you really wanna please me
You know I do,
Aaah, tell me why you do it
I really wanna know
Well it wouldn't be right
For me to tell you tonight
You better tell me right away
Or I'll pack up and go
Don't get mad it ain't no big thing
You better tell me right away
Don't you treat me cold
Hold it hold it, hold it, hold it
I'm holding it
It's good for you
I'm holding it
It's good for you
I'm holding it
It's good for you
Let go off it now

Poo-poo da-die-ya doop doop da doo da
Poo-poo da-die-ya doop doop da doo da
Dreamed I was an Eskimo
Poo-poo da-die-ya doop doop da doo da
Frozen wind began to blow
Poo-poo da-die-ya doop doop da doo da
Under my boots and around my toe
Poo-poo da-die-ya doop doop da doo da
Frost had bit the ground below
Poo-poo da-die-ya doop doop da doo da
It was a hundred degrees below zero
Poo-poo da-die-ya doop doop da doo da

And my momma cried
You don't really look like an Eskimo
And my momma cried
You don't really look like an Eskimo
And my mama cried again
You don't really look like an Eskimo
Nanook, no no
Nanook, no no
Don't be a naughty Eskimo, Hey-y-y

Save your money
Don't go to the show
Well I turned and I said ho-ho
Well I turned and I said ho-ho
Well I turned and I said ho-ho
And the northern lights commenced to glow
Watch out where the huskies go
And don't you eat that yellow snow
Watch out where the huskies go
And don't you eat that yellow snow

Well right about that time, people
A fur trapper, who was strictly from commercial
A dibbe jabbe dabbe zabbe doo dah
Dibbe dibba doo dah dah
Strictly commercial
Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my ig-ya-loo
Peek-a-boo
And he started into whippin' on my fav'rite baby seal
With a lead-filled snow shoe
With a lead
Lead
With a lead-filled
Lead filled
With a lead-filled snow shoe
Snow-shoe
He said peek-a-boo
Peek-a-boo

With a lead
Lead
Lead filled
Lead-filled
With a lead-filled snow shoe
Snow-shoe
He said peek-a-boo
Peek-a-boo

He went right up side the head of my favorite baby seal
Hit him on the nose, and
Hit him on the fin,
And he hit him on the snout and then he—
You know, that got me just about as evil
As an Eskimo boy can be . . .
So I reached down 'n I bent down
And I scooped down an' I gathered up a generous mitten full of the deadly
Yellow Snow
The deadly yellow snow from right there where the huskies go
(That's right)
And then I proceeded to rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion
Hitherto, hitherto unknown to the people in this area
No, Frank, No
A case of the (?)
Rub it.

Hey . . . Hey . . . Hey . . .

And I pounced
And I pounced again
And jumped up 'n down the chest of a
Great Googly-Moogly
I injured the fur trapper

Well, he was really messed up
You know what I mean
Had that stuff hanging off of his eyes
And it was at that moment, in time and space
When he realised
I can't see, Do do do do do yeah
I can't see, Do do do do do yeah
I can't see, Do do do do do
I can't see, Do do do do do
He took a dog-doo snow-cone
An' stuffed it in my right eye
He took a dog-doo snow-cone
An' stuffed it in my other eye
An' the huskie wee-wee
I mean, the doggie wee-wee
Has blinded me
Oh God I can't see
Temporarily

Well as you know, whenever any kind of conflict might arise
Between a person named Nanook
And a fur trapper
There's only way that you can get it fixed up
You have to go trudging across the tundra mile after mile
All the way down to the parish of Saint Alfonzo . . .
Saint Alfonzo is the patron saint of the smelt fishermen of Portuguese
extraction. And now it's time for Ed to play . . . the lick that takes us
to Alfonzo country.

That's right, here we are . .
At Saint Alfonzo's Pancake breakfast
Where I stole the mar-juh-rene
An' widdled on the bingo cards
In lieu of the latrine

I saw a handsome parish lady
Make her entrance like a queen
Why she was totally chenille
And her old man was a Marine

As she abused a sausage pattie
Pittie pittie pattie
Pittie pittie pattie pootie
An' said: "Why don't you treat me mean?"
Hurt me, hurt me, hurt me
Oooh, pittie!
Oooh, pattie!
Oooh, pootie!
Oooh, pootie pootie!
At Saint Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
(Hah! Good God Get off the bus!)
Where I stole the mar-juh-rene
Get on your feet and do the funky Alfonzo

Let's do the funky Alfonzo
Father Vivian O'Blivion
Resplendent in his frock
Was whipping up the batter
For the pancakes of his flock
He was looking rather bleary
He forgot to watch the clock
The night before, behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked
The night before, behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked,
(He stroked it . . . )
The night before, behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked his smaa-aa-aa
(He stroked his smock)

Set him off in such a frenzy
He sang Lock Around The Crock
An' he topped it off with a
An' he topped it off with a
An' he topped it off with a . . .
Woo woo woo
Woo woo woo
Woo woo woo
As he stumbled on his cock
He was delighted as it stiffened
And ripped right though his sock

Oh Saint Alfonzo would be proud of me!
Proud of me.
Proud of me.
Proud of me.
He shouted down the block

Dominus vo-bisque'em
Et cum spear a tu-tu, oh!
Won't you eat my sleazy pancakes
Just for Saintly Alfonzo
They're so light 'n fluffy-white
We'll raise a fortune by tonite
They're so light 'n fluffy-white
We'll raise a fortune by tonite
They're so light 'n fluffy-brown
They're the finest in the town
They're so light 'n fluffy-brown
They're the finest in the town

Good morning your Highness
I brought you your snow-shoe
[2x fade]

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-nanook
Na-na-na-na-na-nanook-oh
Nanook
Rubs it
Saint
Al
Al
Fo-fo-fo
Fo-fo-fo-fo-fo-fonzo

Saint Alfonzo really loves it when he rubs it for him
I have seen him rubbin' it
I have seen him rubbin' it
I have, I have a-seen him stroke his weenie
(It was teenie)
Rub it, rub it, rub it, rub it, rub
Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
Nanook is rubbin' it, 'n Alfie is lovin' it
Saint Alfonzo, can you hear us praying to you?
Can you fix my Chevy?
Boy, you're really heavy
Here's the church and here's the steeple
Open up and see the people
Some are kneelin', some are standin'
All the money they are handing
To some asshole with a basket
Where it goes we dare not ask it
Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
This here basket, really shoves it
Here's your quarter, here's your dollar
Let's play ring around the collar
Hup! Hey, get it now!
(We get it now! We get now your little gifts)

THANK YOU,
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, FRIEND!

FZ: Vince Colaiuta, Arthur Barrow, Tommy Mars, Ike Willis, Denny Walley, Peter Wolf, Ed Mann. Thank you!

Bamboozled by love!
Everybody rock.

Bamboozled by love
Oh lord, the shit done hit the fan
Bamboozled by love
Oh lord, the shit done hit the fan
The way that girl been carryin' on
I swear I just don't understand
Don't understand
You know I treat her nice and kind
The way no other lover can
You know I treat her nice and kind
The way no other lover can
I came home the other day and she was
Suckin' off some other man

I ain't the type for beggin'
I ain't the type to plead
If she don't change those evil ways
I'm gonna make her bleed
She can scream and she can holler
Bang her head all along the wall
If she don't give me what I want
She gonna have no head at all

Bamboozled by love
I said she fooled around too long
Bamboozled by love
I said she fooled around too long
I am mad and getting meaner
I am here and she is gone
I know she's gone, gone, gone
The reason you ain't seen her
She is underneath the lawn
I said she's underneath the lawn, lawn, lawn

Hey I ain't the type for beggin'
I ain't the type to plea
If she don't change those evil ways
I'm gonna make her bleed
She can scream and she can holler
Bang her head all along the wall
If she don't give me what I want
She's gonna have no head at all

Bamboozled by love,
I said she fooled around too long
Bamboozled by love, oh lord
I said she fooled around too long

I am mad and gettin' meaner, meaner
I am here and she is gone
And the reason you haven't seen her, seen her
Is she is underneath the lawn

Thank You!