Captain Beefheart:

This strange fellow that we see approaching the studio is named 'Ned The Mumbler'.

Ned:

I'm new at your high school
No teenage girl to call my name
I'm new at your high school
No teenage girl to call my name
Just because my daddy done work for the government
I've changed schools until it's a crying shame

I'm just a-mumbling 'round your schoolyard
wishing someone knew my name
I'm just a-mumbling 'round your schoolyard
I'm wishin' someone knew my name
Lord knows I need some friendship 'til it hurts me
Why can't these people feel my pain?

Captain Beefheart:

Boldly he steps through the door!

Ned:

Look at these little teenage girls
They go for a football name
I'll have to show 'em just what's shakin'
Let 'em know just who I am

Captain Beefheart:

Ned's marvelous! He's not nearly as marvelous as I am, of course, but he's a kind of a teenage 'Lone Ranger'.

Ned:

My name is 'Ned The Mumbler'
An' I ain't gonna lie
'Cause I've been all over the country
Been here and all around
I've used my secret power
In every kind of town
Now my fortune brings me here
And the logical thing to do
Is take my secret power
And use it on one of you!

Captain Beefheart:

Ha ha! Ned has a brainstorm!