1977 Jan-Feb: Essentially performed as on "Lather", with the standard deviation coming in Patrick's middle-of-the-song comments.
1977 Sep-Dec: Essentially performed as on "Sheik Yerbouti", with the standard deviation coming in O'Hearn's middle-of-the-song remarks. Several instances on tour, Patrick manages to highly amuse Frank and several other band members, rendering them unable to successfully sing their lines. Interesting to hear, but a bad omen of things to come 7 years later.
1978 Jan-Feb: Essentially played as on "Sheik Yerbouti", with deviation in O'Hearn's spoken lines during the middle verses, and in the FZ, Bozzio, O'Hearn vocal interplay during the closing "ram it up" section.
1980 Oct-Dec: The basic structure of this song is the same as on "Sheik Yerbouti". Unfortunately, however, there are some minor changes that really affect the mood of the tune. Things start off as normal, with the aggressive guitar riff. But almost immediately, things start to look bad as Terry Ted's aggressive "Hey! Do you know what you are?" taunt becomes a keyboard driven, whiny little tease. Same lyrics, just a completely different attitude. The verses follow-performed as always—but with a differently arranged chorus. Again, same lyrics, but this time accompanied by an overplayed, metal-tinged swing groove, which, by the way, works. Back to the annoying whine, and then the normal verse. The middle spoken section is also performed as normal (but lacks O'Hearn's frequently hilarious remarks), with an added disco vamp following the "work the wall with Michael" line. The conclusion of the song also takes us through familiar territory. Overall, the satirically played swing vamp in the chorus works, but the wimpy pre-verse yell and the absence of O'Hearn cause this version to suffer. Also, this is another tune where Ed Mann's absence is quite evident, with sonic holes where his quirky percussion would normally be. Definitely worth hearing, as it is stylistically quite different from the majority of the material, but not as strong as the '70's version.
1981-82: The basic structure of this song is the same as on "Sheik Yerbouti". Unfortunately, however, there are some minor changes that really affect the mood of the tune. Things start off as normal, with the aggressive guitar riff. But almost immediately, things start to look bad as Terry Ted's aggressive "Hey! Do you know what you are?" taunt becomes a keyboard driven, whiny little tease. Same lyrics, just a completely different attitude. The verses follow-performed as always—but with a differently arranged chorus. Again, same lyrics, but this time accompanied by an overplayed, metal-tinged swing groove, which, by the way, works. Back to the annoying whine, and then the normal verse. The middle spoken section is also performed as normal (but lacks O'Hearn's frequently hilarious remarks), with an added disco vamp following the "work the wall with Michael" line. Finally, the conclusion of the song also takes us through familiar territory. Overall, the satirically played swing vamp in the chorus works, but the wimpy pre-verse yell and the absence of O'Hearn cause this version to suffer. Definitely worth hearing, as it is stylistically quite different from the majority of the material, but not as strong as the '70's version.
In the 1981-82's tour, whenever they played "Broken Hearts Are For Assholes," Tommy Mars would stick a quote of the tune "The Sailor's Hornpipe" after the line "who had just blew in from Spain."
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