I Was A Teen-age Malt Shop

Comments:

FZ liner notes:

Meanwhile, back at "STUDIO Z," I had been working on what might have been the world's first 'rock opera' ...a stupid piece of trash called I WAS A TEENAGE MALT SHOP. This was the opening theme.

FZ on a Melody Maker interview, January 4, 1974:

Oh strictly fantasy-type stuff. It was the idea of an old man who has a daughter named Nelda who was a cheerleader. The old man has a recording studio that hasn't hit and there's an evil landlord who's going to foreclose on him. So there's this group that comes in with a teenage hero that goes to the high school called Med the Mungler [Ned The Mumbler], a teenage Lone Ranger, and it was just a fantasy-type thing with rock and roll music on it.

FZ on a COQ interview, February 1974:

Oh, strictly fantasy-type stuff. It was about an old man who has a daughter named Nelda, a cheerleader. The old man has a recording studio that hasn't had a hit, and there's an evil landlord who's going to foreclose on him. So there's this group that comes in with a high school hero called Med the Mungler who's a teenage Lone Ranger.

The 'teen-age opera' as it appears on Apocrypha:

Captain Beefheart: Don Van Vliet
Nelda: Allison Buff
Ned: FZ

Apocrypha CD 1 Track 08
Captain Beefheart: I was a Teen-age Malt Shop! Ha ha! (instrumental theme)	I Was A Teen-age Malt Shop (from The Old Masters Box One Mystery Disc (1985))
Captain Beefheart: Hello, there, kids, it's your old friend Captain Beefheart! You know, me, the magic man, invisible, and all that jazz, ha! Flies through time and space, dimension warp, all that rhythm... Well, anyway, uh... I'm here tonight to tell you that we have a heck-of-a-little teen-age opera for you... You're really gonna dig it, mmmh, yeah, it's really groovy!	The Birth of Captain Beefheart (from The Old Masters Box One Mystery Disc (1985))
Nelda: I'm losing status at the high school I used to think that it was my school I was the queen of every school activity But that's no more, oh darling, what will come of me? I'm losing status at the high school The other night we painted posters We played some records by the Coasters Another pom-pom girl looked down her nose at me She had painted tons of posters, I had painted three I hear the secret whispers everywhere I go My school spirit is at an all time low I'm losing status at the high school I'm losing status at the high school I'm losing status at the high school	aka Status Back Baby
Captain Beefheart: This strange fellow that we see approaching the studio is named 'Ned The Mumbler'. Ned: I'm new at your high school No teenage girl to call my name I'm new at your high school No teenage girl to call my name Just because my daddy done work for the government I've changed schools until it's a crying shame I'm just a-mumbling 'round your schoolyard wishing someone knew my name (you're 'someone') I'm just a-mumbling 'round your schoolyard I'm wishin' someone knew my name Lord knows I need some friendship 'til it hurts me Why can't these people feel my pain? Captain Beefheart: Boldy he steps through the door! Ned: One of these little teenage girls They go for a football name I'll have to show 'em just what's shakin' Let 'em know just who I am Captain Beefheart: Ned's marvelous! He's not nearly as marvelous as I am, of course, but he's a kind of a teenage 'Lone Ranger'. Ned: My name is 'Ned The Mumbler' An' I ain't gonna lie 'Cause I've been all over the country Been here and and all around I've used my secret power In every kind of town Now my fortune (...) And a lot of things to do Just take my secret power And use it on one of you	aka Ned The Mumbler
Captain Beefheart: Ha ha! Ned has a brainstorm! (instrumental theme)	aka Ned Has A Brainstorm aka Toads Of The Short Forest

I Was A Teen-age Malt Shop

FZ album(s) in which parts of the original recording have appeared:

Comments:

FZ liner notes:

FZ on a Melody Maker interview, January 4, 1974:

FZ on a COQ interview, February 1974:

The 'teen-age opera' as it appears on Apocrypha:

Conceptual Continuity: