The Cucamonga Singles

All songs recorded at Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA (except where indicated)
c. 1961-63

THE MASTERS: Breaktime

(Williams/Buff/Zappa)

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
May, 1961

Paul Buff—piano
Ronnie Williams—drums, bass
FZ—lead & rhythm guitar

 

THE PENGUINS: Memories Of El Monte

(Zappa/Collins)

includes quotes from In The Still Of The Night (Parris), You Cheated (You Lied) (Burch); A Thousand Miles Away (Sheppard/Miller); The Letter (Green); Cherry Pie (Josea/Taub); Nite Owl (Allen) and Earth Angel (Williams)

January, 1963
Original Sound, LA, CA
Produced by Art Laboe

The Penguins:
Cleve Duncan—lead vocals
Walter Saulsberry—vocals
The Viceroys:
James Conwell—vocals
Andrew "Jack" White—vocals
Charles Jones—vocals
Oliver Williams—vocals
Herbert White—vocals
+

FZ—vibes

I'm all alone
Feeling so blue
Thinking about you
And the love we once knew
And each time I do
It brings back those memories
Of El Monte

Remember the dance
I held you so tight
The Satins were singing
In the still of the night
You gave me your heart
And your love undying
Now I'm alone . . .
I'm sitting here crying

If only they have
Those dances again
I'd know where to find you
And all my old friends
The Shields would sing . . .
"You cheated. You lied . . ."
And the Heartbeats . . .
"You're a thousand miles away . . ."
And the Medallions with "The Letter" and . . .
"Sweet words of pizmotality . . ."
Marvin and Johnny with . . .
"Cherry Pie . . ."
And then, Tony Allen with . . .
"Night owl . . ."
And I, Cleve Duncan, along with the Penguins will sing . . .
"Earth Angel
Earth Angel
Will you be mine?"
At El Monte

If I could go back
To those days of the past
I'd show you a love . . .
A love that would last
Oh, I remember
Those wonderful dances
In El Monte
In El Monte
"Earth angel
Earth Angel
Will you be mine?"
At El Monte

BABY RAY & THE FERNS: How's Your Bird

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
March, 1963

FZ—guitars, drums, percussion
Ray Collins—vocals
Paul Buff—bass, snorks

(You dirty fink!)
Hey Baby
Uh, what's the word?
Hey Baby
Now, have you heard?
What's the latest?
Uh, how's your bird?

Uh, how's your brother?
And how's your mother?
And how's Aunt Fanny?
And how's your granny?
This is absurd
Uh, how's your bird?

(Excuse me . . . )

Uh, how's your bunion?
And how's your grunion?
Now I'm stuck
Uh, lots o' luck
This is absurd
Uh, how's your bird?

Uh, how's your fern?
(I don't love you . . . yes)
And how your ear lobe?
(Dirty fink)
And how's your nose
(You dirty fink!)
How's your elbow?
And how's your foot?
( . . .natural fink! Find out . . . sister . . . )
And don't forget your sister
(I've never . . . )
And you know, like I said . . .

BABY RAY & THE FERNS: The World's Greatest Sinner

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
Prob. March, 1963

Ray Collins—vocals
Paul Buff—bass, drums, saxes
FZ—guitars, backing vocals

Chee poppa doodly woppa
Chee poppa doodly woppa
Chee poppa doodly woppa
Chee poppa doodly woppa
etc.

Now, he's the world's greatest sinner
I said, the world's greatest sinner
As a sinner he's a winner
Honey, he's no beginner
He's rotten to the core
Daddy, you can't say no more
He's the world's greatest sinner

If you've never have a-sinned before
Then you know what I mean
If you see him a-walkin'
Around the floor
He's the meanest creature you ever seen

He's the world's greatest sinner
I said, the world's greatest sinner
As a sinner he's a winner
Honey, he's no beginner
He's rotten to the core
Baby, you can't say no more
He's the world's greatest sinner

If you've never have a-sinned before
Then you know what I mean
If you see him a-walkin'
Around the floor
He's the meanest creature you ever seen

He's the world's greatest sinner
He's the world's greatest sinner
As a sinner he's a winner
I mean it, he's no beginner
He's rotten to the core
Baby, you can't say no more
He's the world's greatest sinner.

Hey, the world's greatest sinner
I mean he is terrible
Too much!
He's no beginner
He's the world's greatest sinner
Unbelievable

BOB GUY: Dear Jeepers

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
April, 1963

Bob Guy—lead vocals
FZ—guitar, drums, sped-up vocals
Paul Buff—bass, snorks, sped-up vocals, sound effects

Oh, what have we here? Oh! A letter! It smells . . . Oh, how wonderful! I just love letters that are perfumed . . . Oh! Lovely, lovely stench! Essence of wolfbane! Oh let me open it . . .

"Dear Jeepers,
It was so nice of you to attend my party at the castle last week. You and Doris make such a lovely couple. I'm also very glad to have seen Igor, Boris and Sally Snake, and Pumpkin the Rat. It was so much fun when we all played 'Pin the Tail on the Werewolf,' oh yes! and 'Electrical Chairs.' When everybody sat down, Oh! Two million volts! Ha-ha-ha . . . ! Oh, such fun!"

Uh . . . Doris, squeeze me a glass of mildew . . .
And to continue now . . .

"Although the party was supposed to be rot luck, it turned out to be pot luck. It was still lovely of you to bring along that 'Leg of Leprechaun au Gratin.' Desdemona wants the recipe.Well, I'm . . . I'm rather exhausted, so I . . . I must close now. The sun is coming up and I must return to the crypt.
Sincerely,
Count Dracula.

P.S. Here's a riddle:
When there's a wheel, watch the way!"

Ho-ho! Ha-ha-ha . . . !

BOB GUY: Letter From Jeepers

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
April, 1963

Bob Guy—lead vocals
FZ—guitar, drums, sped-up vocals
Paul Buff—bass, snorks, sped-up vocals, sound effects

Doris, get out your poison pen and take a letter. I have to write to Count Dracula. You know he wrote me a letter of that sort . . .

Dear Count Dracula,
I am writing to you from Cucamonga . . . Ha-ha! Cucamonga? The weather is lovely. The nausea of noon. The wind is always blowing and the sun never shines. And it's rainy and damp four hundred days of the year.
I enjoyed the party very much. Especially the sumptuous feast you had prepared. It was thrillling. From the first appetizers, the 'Chicken Fried Grub Worms,' on through the dessert, ohhhh . . . 'Blood Pudding!' Oh, I love 'Blood Pudding!' Oh, yes! It was a masterpiece of culinary skill. Although I . . . I was worried for a moment when you . . . you said the main course was . . . 'Fish and Chips.' Oh, we're not that plebeian in Cucamonga. But my fears were quickly allayed when I discovered to my delight it was 'Silverfish and Buffalo Chips!' Ho-ho! The most . . . Oh, unique! Oh, they're so squirmy! Oh-ho-ho! Oh, the first one went down easy, but the second one was so greasy! Ho-ho-ho . . ! Oh, my . . . Oh, I'm getting carried away, because I . . . I really must apologize for getting tipsy and singing, but I have always wanted to be the death of the party.

Uh, when you hear the pellets drop, count ten, take a deep bleath . . .
Uhwrr, uhwrr, he he he he

THE HEARTBREAKERS: Everytime I See You

(Zappa/Collins)

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
April, 1963

The Heartbreakers:
Benny Rodriguez—vocals
Joe Rodriguez—vocals
+
The Romancers:
Max Uballez—rhythm guitar
Richard Provincio—piano
Armando Mora—tenor sax
Chris Pasqual—bass
Manuel Mosqueda—drums
+
FZ—lead guitar

Everytime I see you . . .
Whenever you walk by
I want to hold you
Darling, please let me try
Darling, I love you
I really do
Darling, I want you
Let me be true.
I want to hold you . . .
Everytime I see you

If you would love me . . .
We'd never, never part
We would be lovers . . .
Heart unto heart
Darling, I love you . . .
I really do
Darling, I want you . . .
Let me be true
I want to hold you . . .
Everytime I see you

If you would love me . . .
We'd never, never part
We would be lovers . . .
Heart unto heart
Darling, I love you . . .
I really do
Darling, I want you . . .
Let me be true
I want to hold you . . .
Everytime I see you

Everytime I see you
Everytime I see you
Everytime I see you
Everytime I see you

BRIAN LORD & THE MIDNIGHTERS: The Big Surfer

includes quotes from Yankee Doodle (Schuckburg) and Dixie (Emmett)

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
May, 1963

Brian Lord—lead vocals
FZ—lead & rhythm guitars, drums, vocals
Paul Buff—opening vocal, bass, sax, sound effects
Ray Collins—vocals

Crowd:
(mumbling)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey hey hey! Hold hold hold it! Hold it! Hey, hold everything! Hold it, hold it, hold it . . . Here comes the Big Surfer!
Hey, look, look at that woody . . . That's a sharp woody, huh huh!

Big Surfer:
It is a great pleasure to be back on the beach here at Santa Monica.

Crowd:
YEAH!

Big Surfer:
Now, well you must all realize that these appearances are very important to me.
Jackie gave me a fresh bleach job just last night, and Pierre has been helping me wax down my board in the back of the woody on the way over from the airport.
Now at this time I should like to thank the governor for the foam rubber huaraches I'm wearing. They are very comfy.
And now . . .

Girls:
Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee!

Big Surfer:
And now . . .

Girls:
Hee hee hee! Ha ha ha!

Big Surfer:
(Jackie, for goodness sake, tell Teddy to pull up his baggies).
And now, I'd like to say, it's a great pleasure to be your guest at this affair.
And I should like to get on with the dance contest.
And now all of you, well, hodaddies, grab your, ah, ho-mommies, and we'll, ah, all hike, er, I mean stomp (oh well, they, they know I'm under pressure).
Now what I say, hit it, I want you to make a big, strong wedge, with a solid left hand macaroni, then hang five and shoot the curl. Now, hit it! Oh, you're looking good!
(Jackie, I wish you get Caroline to turn her amplifier down)
(Pierre, remind me to bring Bobby a new reed tomorrow, they all want to get into the act)
Yes, yes, I think we, ah, have a winner! It's the, ah, little couple from over in the, ah, corner.
And, no, don't stop the music, let's, ah, bring them up here and, ah, give 'em a big hand!

Crowd:
(a big hand)

Boy:
Huh huh huh, hi, Big Surfer!

Girl:
Hi, hi, Big Surfer!

Big Surfer:
Hiya, kids, ah, hiya, hiya, ah, hiya!

Boy:
Huh gosh, this is really exciting!

Girl:
Oh, yeah!

Boy:
What do we win?

Big Surfer:
Well, as the winners of our dance contest you'll receive an all expense paid trip . . .

Girl:
Oh, really?

Big Surfer:
It's an all expense paid trip as the first members of the Peace Corp to be sent to, ah, Alabama.

NED & NELDA: Hey Nelda

(FZ & Ray Collins)

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
May, 1963

Ray Collins—lead vocal
FZ—guitar, drums, lead vocal
Paul Buff—piano, organ, bass

Ned:
Hey, Nelda,
I love you true

Nelda:
Hey, Ned, baby,
So what else is new?

Ned:
I love your complexion

Nelda:
I have an infection

Ned:
Your hair is so fleecy

Nelda:
And your hair is greasy

Ned & Nelda:
We go together like peaches and cream
Oh, dearest Nelda/Ned, baby
You are my dream

Ned:
Hey-hey, Nelda

Nelda:
Hey, Ned

Ned & Nelda:
Wo-oh-ho-oh

Ned:
Nelda . . . Nelda, what's wrong?

Nelda:
(sob, sob) I-I dunno, it's just, everything's going wrong.
Our parents don't love us, an' . . .

Ned:
I know but . . . things are . . . things are tough all over, Nelda,
we have a lot of problems.

Nelda:
W-we're just teenagers, and everybody's against us . . .

Ned:
The world IS against us.

Nelda:
Everybody . . .

Ned:
I feel the pressure!

Nelda:
We can't do it, we can't go on.

Ned:
I'm under such strain!

Nelda:
We can't make it . . .

Ned:
Well, we can make it!

Nelda:
But I-I . . . I can't take it!
I just can't take it!
I can't! Argh! (sob)

Ned & Nelda:
We go together like peaches and cream
Oh, dearest Nelda/Ned, baby
You are my dream

Ned:
Hey-hey, Nelda

Nelda:
Hey, Ned

Ned & Nelda:
Wo-oh-ho-oh

Nelda:
I just can't go on.

Ned:
I wish you COULD go on.

Nelda:
I just can't make it, we've tried everything, y'know? Our parents won't . . . (sob) I just can't . . . (sob)

Ned:
Look, I know, but . . . bein' a teenager is ROUGH!

Nelda:
I know, but . . .

Ned:
Skin problems . . .

Nelda:
I know, but you just . . . listen. I'd just . . . well, I'd just as soon FORGET IT!

Ned:
Well, if you feel that way about it, I'll forget it too!

Nelda:
I never liked your greasy hair anyway, [...], forget it!

Ned:
I still love you, Nelda . . .

Nelda:
I've NEVER loved you!

Ned:
I still love you, Nelda . . .

Nelda:
Teenage upstart!

Ned:
I still love you . . .

Nelda:
Forget it! Just forget it!

NED & NELDA: Surf Along With Ned & Nelda

(FZ & Ray Collins)

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
May, 1963

Ray Collins—lead vocal
FZ—guitar, drums, lead vocal
Paul Buff—piano, bass, sax

One, Two . . . One, Two, Three, Four, Five!

Ned:
Nelda, baby, Nelda, baby, surf along with me

Nelda:
Neddie, oh, Neddie, I will surf along with thee

Ned:
Nelda, baby, Nelda, baby, surf along with me

Nelda:
Neddie, oh, Neddie, I will surf along with thee

Ned:
We will have funzies

Ned & Nelda:
We will have funzies
We-we wee-wee-wee

Ned:
Come on, little Nelda, do the surfer stomp with me

Nelda:
Come on, Neddie, baby, do the surfer stomp with me

Ned:
No, me!

Nelda:
No, me!

Ned:
No, me!

Nelda:
No, ME!

Ned:
No, me!

Nelda:
NO, ME!

Ned:
Forget it!

Nelda:
I've already forgotten it

Ned:
Wop! Hoop! Hoop! Hoop! Hoop hoop! (etc.)

Nelda:
I don't know, it just makes me sick.
He's tryin' to make decent record . . .
This guy's yellin', shoutin' an' screamin' an' stompin' an' makin' all kinds of noises an' it just makes me sick

Ned:
Hoop hoop! . . . Nelda, baby, Nelda, baby, it is fun to stomp with you

Nelda:
Neddie, dear Neddie, oh, if you only knew

Ned:
Nelda, baby, Nelda, baby, it is fun to stomp with you

Nelda:
Neddie, dear Neddie, oh, if you only knew

Ned & Nelda:
It is fun to be a surfer
Fun to be a surfer
Surf! Surf! Surf! Surf!
Surf! Surf! Surf! Surf!

Ned:
This is fun!

Ned & Nelda:
Surf! Surf! Surf! Surf!

Nelda:
Oh, I just love it, bouncin' around in the waves . . .

Ned:
Surf! Surf! Surf! Surf!
Hhh . . . ha ha!

Nelda:
This just makes me sick!

Ned:
Surf! Surf! Surf! Surf!

Nelda:
Can't stand this salty water them nasty fish . . .

Ned:
Surf! Surf! Surf! Surf!

Nelda:
Them fish just bitin' my toes

Ned:
Surf! Surf! Surf! Surf!

Nelda:
. . . and so on and so forth, and everything like that . . .

Ned:
Surf! Surf! Surf! Surf!

THE HOLLYWOOD PERSUADERS: Grunion Run

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
June, 1963

FZ—guitars, bass, drums
Paul Buff—saxes

 

MR. CLEAN: Mr. Clean

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
June, 1963

Mr. Clean—lead vocals
Dorothy Berry & The Sweethearts—background vocals
FZ—guitars, drums, vocals
Paul Buff—electric piano, bass

All you fine young honeys
All you grown up queens
Listen here while I tell ya
I'm the man of your dreams
I'm the sweetest hunk of man
That your eyes ever seen
Whoa, pretty baby
I'm-a Mr. Clean
(He's Mr. Clean, oh yeah)
Whoa yeah
(He's Mr. Clean, oh yeah)
Hey hey
(He's Mr. Clean, oh yeah)
Whoa yeah
(He's the greatest lover anywhere)

I'm the king of all the lovers
I'm the greatest in the world
I can even make a woman
Out of you, little girl
I'm a swinging sugar daddy
I'm a sweet jelly bean
Whoa, pretty mama
I'm-a Mr. Clean

(He's Mr. Clean, oh yeah)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(He's Mr. Clean, oh yeah)
Hey, hey
(He's Mr. Clean, oh yeah)
Whoa yeah
(He's the greatest lover anywhere)

If your heart gets wasted
And your mind gets tore
Just remember, all is fair
In love and-a war
I'm a fast-talkin' lover
I'm the meanest of the mean
Oh, pretty baby
I'm-a Mr. Clean
(Watch my white tornado!
Oh, yeah, you think I'm crazy?
I'm clean clear through, baby)

MR. CLEAN: Jessie Lee

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
June, 1963

Mr. Clean—lead & backing vocals, harmonica
FZ—guitar, drums, percussion
Paul Buff—fuzz bass

Jessie Lee, Jessie Lee
Girl, you're so fine
C'mon, pretty baby
Say that you'll be mine

Jessie Lee, Jessie Lee
C'mon take my love
You know it's you, pretty baby
That I'm thinking of

Yeah-hey-hey-hey, yeah
Hey-hey-hey, yeah

You know I love to watch you, baby
When you walk
And I love to watch you, baby
When you talk
You can treat me mean
You can treat me cruel
Tell your friends I was a fool

But Jessie Lee, Jessie Lee
You know I love you still
Please let me love you
Please say you will

Yeah-hey-hey-hey
Hey-hey, yeah
Yeah-hey-hey-hey
Hey, yeah

RON ROMAN: Love Of My Life

(Zappa/Aerni)

Pal Recording Studio, Cucamonga, CA
April & June, 1963

Ron Roman—lead vocals
Ray Collins—backing vocals
Paul Buff—piano, drums, fuzz bass, sax
FZ—guitar

Love of my life
Forever true
Being together
And never blue
You'll never leave me
Love, love of my life

We're so in love
We'll never part
You'll always love me
With all your heart
You're mine forever
Love, love of my life

Stars in the sky
They never lie
Say our love will never die
I'll always love you
And come what may
I'll never leave you till the stars melt away

Love of my life
Forever true
Being together
And never blue
You'll never leave me
Love, love of my life

 

All compositions by Frank Zappa except as noted
Site maintained by Román García Albertos
http://globalia.net/donlope/fz/
Original transcription mostly by Patrick Neve
Transcription for "Love Of My Life" by Charles Ulrich
Transcription for "The Big Surfer" and the Ned & Nelda stuff by Román
Further additions and corrections by Román, Charles Ulrich, Biffyshrew, Patrick Neve, Zachary Lebold, Snev Stevens, Tan Mitsugu and Michael Brenna
This page updated: 2016-11-06