This is "Dame Margret's [...] Son To Be A Bride."
This is probably more interesting than the track!
Looking through my old boxes...I came across a record Frank gave me some years ago......a single edit of Sharleena......on the B is "Bognor Regis".
Yep, as many people have hinted, this is Bognor Regis. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, read all (well, as much about as we know about it) on:
One summer Sunday in 1970 my best friend and house mate, the late great producer Ian "Sammy" Samwell is up early looking after Frank Zappa while he is in London. As it's a Sunday, that means, Implosion at the Roundhouse in Chalk Farm which was my baby, not just as the MC/DJ, but I was responsible for putting together most of the shows. Before I set off to Chalk Farm, Sammy tells me Frank has an edited version of a tune that may be a single, hoping that he might get some airplay, but he's not so sure about it. Frank wants to know if he can hear his record that afternoon on the Roundhose PA, would I mind giving him the chance to hear it played there?
Before the masses arrived at about 3.45 in the afternoon Sammy shows up with Frank in tow. Frank hands me a 10" Artisan Sound Recorders acetate. Printed on side one, is "Sharleena" (vocal) 3:54 which has been crossed out but written in ballpoint it says 2.54, a real single edit, under three minutes. So on one of my Thorens TD124 Mk IIs it goes. Frank and Sammy wander round the house listening intently while looking at the few faces that are already inside. As the record finishes Frank comes closer to the stage, he doesn't look too convinced. I quickly flip the disk and play side two "Bognor Regis" (instrumental) 4:48. I crack up laughing at the title, it just seemed so funny, but I loved it. I then plopped on another record and put Frank's acetate back in its brown bag to hand it back. Frank holds up his hand and say, "you keep it, play it again if you want, it's the only one, let me know what you think," then he heads off round the back of the stage.
If said tune exists, then there are a number of reasons why Zappa would have called it Bognor Regis. Bognor Regis is a well known village for a number of reasons, mainly because it is dank, dirty, tiny and has a funny name. Most British people would know of Bognor Regis for this very reason, and I know it gets mentioned in at least one Monty Python sketch.
Its humour value comes from a number of sources. For one, 'bog' in British english is slang for a toilet. The "Regis" part means "royal", which is quite amusing, as it vaguely implies "Royal shithouse". Additionally the expression "Bog off" is equivalent to "screw you". Plus "Bognor" is just a funny word, like 'enema', 'bondage', 'dacron' and 'echidna'.
Frank re-worked this track over the years, using it as the basics for an early version of "Conehead." In the process, he erased original source material.
|2.07. "Bognor Regis (Unedited Master)" The Hot Rats Sessions (2019)||6. 10. "Bognor Regis (1970 Record Plant Mix)" The Hot Rats Sessions (2019)||"Bognor Regis" (acetate)|
Additional informant: Hywel Davies.
There is a recording that I picked up in Europe that had—I think it was "The Shadow Of Your Smile," with Archie Shepp playing on it. And he played this solo—it just sounded to me immediately like there was this fucking army of preheated rats screaming out of his saxophone.
Acetate label name: “Passalaglia”
Acetate label attribution: “Phil Wenz” ["Phil. Arena"]
Official releases—Unreleased—but material from this track can be heard as the background to the FZ radio promo 1969 Hot Rats LP spot 2 ("Frank Zappa took a heavy trip recently . . ."). This performance contains themes from King Kong.
• Source—Probably from the same concert as Tracks 4 ["Kung Fu"] and 5 ["Igor's Boogie"]—the venue acoustics are a dead match.
[...] This track is almost certainly an edited continuation of 2 March 1969, Philadelphia Arena.
|6.09. "Hot Rats Vintage Promotion Ad #3" The Hot Rats Sessions (2019)||1.06. "Passacaglia" The Artisan Acetate (1969)|
Additional informant: Rodrigo Espiñeira.
Research, compilation and maintenance by Román García Albertos