(Horse neighs. Rock band plays The World's Greatest Sinner theme as an instrumental, followed by an orchestral overture.)
Satan:
Oh, Yes. This is the place where a simple, average, American family lives. There's Clarence, my boy. Just like any other male—the only difference is, he wants to be God (horse neighs). And that's coming right out of the horse's mouth.
There's Edna, his loving wife, and her brood, following Clarence to the very end—he she has no choice. Alonzo, the gardener, Clarence's faithful friend, astute in the art of picking weeds.
(Orchestra plays theme that later became 'Semi-Fraudulent/Direct-from-Hollywood Overture' on 200 Motels.)
They all want to get into the act. Including myself. Oh, boy, that Clarence, my greatest possibility since the apple incident. Don't let me down Clarence, don't let me down, boy, whatever you do!
Clarence:
C'mon, followers!
Satan:
Now, go, Clarence, go, go, go!
Clarence:
. . . How are you tonight, Rex? Ah! They didn't take care of you, didn't did they? Ok. I wanna stay with you, Rex, you're so sweet, nobody wants to listen the way that you want to me, but you will . . . Boy, ah . . . hh-hhh . . . You understand me prob'ly, Rex, more than the other people understand me. Now don't you go to sleep on me, Rex. Your master is master's gonna be somebody. I'm gonna make people live a long, I'm gonna put something into life, I'm gonna make life be eternal. I'm gonna do it, Rex. And I know you're not laughing at me. I know you're not laughing you won't laugh at me, Rex . . . Someday people will never die.
(March music, fanfares, drum rolls)
My name is God Hilliard! Follow me to every nook and corner of the United States!
Satan:
God, listen to them! It's fantastic! The best seat in my household is reserved for you, but you must keep up this high score. A representative will call on you to insure your greatest hour yet to come. In other words, Clarence, go to Hell!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
GirlEdna:
Why don't we live the way we used to, Clarence?
GirlEdna:
God . . . I love you . . . hhh . . .
Clarence:
Oh, my God!I don't wanna go to—
All compositions by Frank Zappa except as noted