Beat The Boots

Beat The Boots II: Disconnected Synapses

(Frank Zappa, June 1992)

  1. Penis Dimension 11:15
  2. The Air 3:54
  3. Dog Breath/Mother People 4:22
  4. You Didn't Try To Call Me 3:34
  5. King Kong 31:38
  6. Who Are The Brain Police? 6:30

Gaumont Palace, Paris, France
December 15, 1970

FZ—guitar, vocals
Jean-Luc Ponty—violin
Mark Volman—vocals
Howard Kaylan—vocals
Jeff Simmons—bass, vocals
George Duke—keyboards, trombone, vocals
Ian Underwood—keyboards, soprano sax
Aynsley Dunbar—drums

 

1. Penis Dimension 11:15

includes The Sanzini Brothers (Underwood/Volman/Kaylan) and Bwana Dik

FZ: Ladies and Gentlemen while they're fixing the amplifiers: The Sanzini Brothers!

The Sanzini Brothers!

Ho hut
You motherfucker
You shove it up your ass
Lou Jacobi
Lou it Jacobi

Penis dimension
Penis dimension

Penis dimension is worrying me
I can't hardly sleep at night
Cause of Penis dimension

Do you worry?
Do you worry a lot?
Do you worry?
Do you worry and moan . . .
That the size of your cock,
Is not monstrous enough?
It's your Penis dimension!
Penis dimension!
Wa oo wa oo wa oo wa
Wa oo wa oo wa oo wa

Mark: Hiya friends. Did you ever consider the possibility that YOUR PENIS, and in the case of many dignified ladies, that the size of the titties themselves might provide elements of subconscious tension! Weird, twisted anxieties that could force a human being as yourself to have to become a politician, a policeman, a Jesuit monk . . .
FZ: Dominus Vobiscum et cum spiritu tuo.
Mark: A policeman!
FZ: Do it again
Mark: A policeman!
FZ: More, more . . . And that too
Mark: A rock and roll guitar player, a bass player, a wino . . . . you name it!
FZ: Hey you sit down and be quiet this is a teen-age rock & roll program!
Mark: And, in the case of the ladies, the ones that can't afford a silicone beef-up, they become writers of hot books . . .
Howard: Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim . . .
Mark: Or they become Carmelite Nuns . . .
Howard: Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his mutated member in her slithering slit . . . hu hu hu.
Mark: Or they become race horse jockeys! Now there's no reason why you or your loved ones should suffer about the size of their organs. There are enough problems in this damn world today, am I right?
Howard: Right on! Right on!
Mark: If you're a girl and you're troubled with munchkin tits, you can console yourself with this age-old line from primary school, help me out brothers:
Mark & Howard: 'Anything over a mouthful is wasted!'
Mark: Yes, yes. And if you're a guy and you're a guy and you're ashamed about the size of your dick. {Volman points at someone} Ladies & Gentlemen, a prime example.

Mark: And one night you're at a party and you're being so be cool . . . I mean, you're now you're with this really cool lady and you're not even wearing any underwear You know I mean you're bein' so cool . . . And some guy comes walking up to you, you know, you never even seen before and he's dressed all in leather, and he walks up to you and he sais these words:
Howard: Twelve centimeters or less?
Mark: He is a lonely guy. And this happens to you while you're at the party. Well let me tell you brothers & sisters, that's the time when you gotta turn around and look that Son-of-a-bitch right between the eyes. And you gotta tell him some words that could help him, some words that would show him that there's a better live than the one he's leaving-living . . . And right now I'm gonna ask my brother Jeff Simmons behind me here, to help us all in this moment by telling us all these words . . . Thank you very much Ladies & Gentlemen.

Jeff: Ladies & Gentlemen if you can dig a country western rap then you're in the right joint. It's the sacred song of the hour for all of France and the Ruhr Valley. My rump hairs long for your sweet love whether you like it or not.

These words:
What's between your legs
Is just the last few inches of a complex mechanism which runs up and down the spinal cord and all hooked up to the human brain.
Which if used correctly can effectively increase the dimension and the firepower of your dick to the point where, in some instances....

Wa oo wa oo wa oo wa

Howard: It could be classified as a LETHAL WEAPON

Mark: Ladies and Gentlemen how about a nice big round of applause for a LETHAL WEAPON !!!!!!
We want you all to sing along with us. Fill this hall with the sound of your voices. Everybody sing Penis Dimension

Penis Dimension
Penis Dimension
Penis Dimension is worrying me
I can't hardly sleep at night
Cause of Penis Dimension
Penis Dimension
Penis Dimension
Wa oo wa oo wa oo wa

2. The Air 3:54

The air
Escaping from your mouth
The hair
Escaping from your nose
My heart
Escaping from the scraping
And the shaping
Of the draping . . .
I'm awaking
In a T-shirt
In a Chevy
At the beach
And I'm freezing
And I'm wheezing
And I know
You were only teasing
I hit you
Then I beat you
Then I told you
That I love you
In my car
In a jar
In my car
In a jar

Theeeeeeeeeeeeeee ha ha ha air
Escaping from your pits
The hair
Escaping from my teeth
From you
My hands
Are gripping
But they're slipping
And they're dripping
Cause I'm tripping
I got busted
Coming through customs
With a suitcase
Full of tapes
It was a special
Tape recording
And they grabbed me
While I was boarding
Yes they grabbed me
Then they beat me
Then they told me
They don't like me
And I crashed
In my Nash
We can crash
In my Nash
We can crash
In my Nash
We can crash
with Graham Nash
Look out now! The Bee Gees!
Won't you be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e
Here my pleeeeeeeeeeea

3. Dog Breath/Mother People 4:22

includes Mother People

Pam pam padam pampedam pam
La la la la la
Wee-oo
Pam pam padam pampedam pam
La la la la la
Wee-oo
Diddedid diddedid diddedid

Primer mi carucha (Chevy '39)
Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
Helps me stealing hub caps
Wasted all the time
Fuzzy Dice
Bongos in the back
My ship of love is
Ready to attack
[2x]

Won't you please
here my plea
[3x]

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you . . .

Do you think that I'm crazy?
Out of my mind?
Do you think that I creep in the night
And sleep in a phone booth?
Lemme take a minute & tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute & tell who I am
If it doesn't show
Think you better know
I'm another person

Do you think that my pants are too tight
Do you think that I'm creepy?
Better look around before you say you don't care
Shut your fuckin' mouth 'bout the length of my hair
How would you survive
If you were alive, shitty little person?

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you
[2x]

Do you think that I love you . . .
Stupid & blind
Do you think that I dream through the
night
Of holding you near me?

4. You Didn't Try To Call Me 3:34

You didn't try to call me
Why didn't you try, I'm so lonely
I'm so lonely
No matter who I take home
I keep on calling your name
Shanook
And you (I need you so bad)
You're the one babe

Tell me, tell me who's lovin' you now
Cause it worries my mind and I can't sleep at all
I stayed home all Friday just to wait for your call

And you didn't try
You didn't try [3x]
To call me
Why didn't you try
Didn't you try, didn't you try
Didn't you know I was lonely
I'm so lonely
No matter who I take home
I keep calling your name
And you I need you so bad
You're the one babe

Tell me, tell me who's lovin' you now
Cause it worries my mind and I can't sleep at all
I stayed home all Friday just to wait for your call

Chak, cha cha, chakkechak cha cha
I can't say what's wrong or what's right
All you got to do is call me babe
You make me feel so excited girl
I got so hung up on you
From the moment that we met
And no matter how I try
I can't keep the tears
From running down my face
I'm all alone in my place

5. King Kong 31:38

includes quotes from Ain't She Sweet (Ager/Yellen), Blue Danube Waltz (Strauss) and Suite: Judy Blue Eyes (Stills)

I love Ray

[scat singing]

Ha Ha!

Ha Ha Ha!

Ladies and Gentlemen the George Wein variations

Ha Ha Ha!

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!

. . . confidentially, ain't she sweet?!?

Oooooooooohh!

(Cough Cough)

(Hack Hack)

Lie lie lie lie lie!

(Cough Cough)

Eeep! Eeep!!

Lie lie lie lie lie!

hoot hoot!

(Ethel Laugh)

Lie lie lie lie lie!

Hi Hi!

Yu-uurk!

Charlie Mingus ladies and Gentlemen . . .

Kiss my
Kiss my wrist

Good night, thank you very much

6. Who Are The Brain Police? 6:30

Yes it's time for . . .

Hot, boogie!
Hot hot hot hot hot
Hooo hot

Oohh oh ohohohooo
Oohh oh ohohohooo

What will you do if we
Let you go home
And the plastic's all melted
And so is the chrome
[2x]
WHO ARE THE, WHO ARE THE, WHO ARE THE
BRAIN
POLICE?
POLICE?

Oohh oh ohohohooo
Oohh oh ohohohooo

What will you do when the
Label comes off
And the plastic's all melted
And the chrome is too soft
[2x]

WHO ARE THE, WHO ARE THE, WHO ARE THE
BRAIN
POLICE?
POLICE?
Mama Yeah
POLICE?

OHW-OH-OHWOH-HO-HOOO

What would you do if the
People you knew
Were the plastic that melted
And the chromium too
[2x]
WHO ARE THE
WHO ARE THE
WHO ARE THE
BRAIN
POLICE?
POLICE?
POLICE?

FZ: Thank you very much for coming to our concert, I'd like to request that if you would please leave the hall in an orderly fashion so that we don't have any problems. Bring the band on down behind me boys, this is an important public service announcement. I don't want to have the police injuring you on the way home. Be nice when you leave the place so you don't have any trouble. Good Night.

 

All compositions by Frank Zappa except as noted
Site maintained by Román García Albertos
http://globalia.net/donlope/fz/
Original transcription by Hans Hendriks and Patrick Neve
Corrections and additions by John W. Busher, Charles Ulrich and Stu Mark
This page updated: 2014-03-26